I like symmetry. I like things orderly, organized, and symmetrical. When I am arranging furniture or hanging things on the wall, it drives me bonkers if they end up uneven and/or asymmetrical.
With that said, I'm not sure why I decided three children would be a good number. Three is NOT symmetrical. No matter how you arrange and rearrange it, there is no way to make three equal or even. It is simply impossible.
Now, don't get me wrong here. I love all three of my girls and wouldn't trade any of them for all the money and power in the world. I also DO NOT plan on having a fourth to "even things out" as some people have suggested. But the asymmetry is driving me nuts!
You see asymmetry = chaos. At least in my opinion. I can have with me any two of the girls; oldest & youngest, middle & youngest, middle & oldest - the combination doesn't matter. When there are only two, everything is so much calmer. The volume is lower. Everyone is generally happier. As soon as all three of them are together, the chaos begins. There is fighting, yelling, crying. The volume increases to deafening levels. I am pulled in a thousand different directions with everyone's needs and requests. What is the explanation for this???? Asymmetry.
"Explosive Chaos" by Natalie Holland |
There can also be beauty in chaos. Just look at these paintings. They are interesting, colorful, vibrant - Just like my girls; just like my life.
"Nature's Chaos" by Richard Heinsohn |
So I will continue to endure - and enjoy - the chaos. Maybe I'll learn to loosen up a little. Maybe the chaos will lessen as the girls get older. Maybe not. But even if the chaos is maddening from time to time, it is also what makes my life interesting and beautiful and I wouldn't have it any other way.
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