Friday, February 17, 2012

Are kids entitled to privacy?

During the past week, my oldest daughter has been dealing with some "mean girl" situations at school.  She is in fourth grade - FOURTH GRADE!  I could write and entire blog post about these events and would certainly have a few choice words to share about the issues.  However, in an effort to respect her privacy and make sure that nothing I put out on my blog would ever cause her further strife, I will not.

I will share this, though.  One day, she came home from school saying it was a terrible day, but she did not want to talk about it.  She did not want to tell us what had happened.  After a significant amount of asking, reasoning, and pleading we got nowhere.  So, I resorted to threatening and, when she still wouldn't talk, I kept my threat promise and called her teacher.  She was not happy about this.  We explained to her that, as her parents, it is our job to teach her, advise her, guide her, and, if necessary, protect her.  We cannot do that if we don't have all the information, so we will do what is needed to get the information.

The very next day I saw the following posted on Facebook.  I think this sums up my philosophy pretty clearly and I wanted to post it here so that I can find it again and share it with my daughters whenever the occasion calls for it.

My Promise To My Children

As long as I live, I am your parent first and your friend second.  
I will stalk you, flip out on you, lecture you, drive you insane, be your worst nightmare, and hunt you down like a bloodhound when needed because I LOVE YOU!
When you understand that, I will know you are a responsible adult.  
You will NEVER find someone who loves, prays, cares, and worries about you more than I do.
If you don't hate me once in your life, I am not doing my job properly.


So are my girls entitled to any privacy?  Yes - when they are 18.  Now, I am not a helicopter parent.  I do not expect them to tell me about every single conversation they have.  I do not expect to tag along on all their play dates (and, eventually, dates).  I am perfectly content to drop them off at birthday parties or gymnastics classes and come back to get them later.  (Once they are old enough and when I am satisfied there is adequate supervision, that is.)  I do/will not eavesdrop on phone calls or read their diaries.  However, if I ever feel I need to, I will.  DW and I will have access to their email, their FaceBook (when we determine they are old enough to have these), and their friends.  When we ask questions, we expect truthful answers.  If we don't get them from our girls, we will get them from other sources.  That's our job.

What do you think??  How much privacy should kids have these days?? When should they be allowed to have their own email and FaceBook pages??  Is it o.k. for parents to do whatever it takes to find out what's happening in the lives of their kids??

Visit Top Mommy Blogs To Vote For Me!

I sure would appreciate a vote!  I'm trying to make it back into the top 50!!

1 comment:

Briana@SweetCGrace said...

I agree with you. For their safety and well-being, parents have the right to know pretty much everything. I was open with my mom, but I also had nothing to hide. I want that to be the same for my children.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...