You see, I grew up in a small town. My parents also grew up in that same small town and BOTH of them were teachers at the high school I attended for most of their 30 years of teaching (each!). So, pretty much everywhere we went in town, we ran into someone who had been in my mom's freshman English class, or on one of my dad's high school baseball teams, or even went to high school with my folks when they were teens. Chances were pretty good that at least one of my parents knew something about anyone that might have ever considered asking me for a date. If they didn't?? Well, they had access to all the records of all the guys that attended my high school AND friends who were teachers at the other two high schools in the county and could give them information on any guys who attended those schools.
Needless to say, I didn't do a lot of dating in high school. I wasn't exactly one of the "popular" girls and I can imagine that dating the daughter of your second period history teacher or fourth period English teacher would be a bit intimidating. It's actually pretty amazing that I somehow had two boyfriends in high school and a few miscellaneous dates.
I met my husband at the beginning of my sophomore year in college when I was just 19 (That story is coming up in December when we celebrate our 15th wedding anniversary!) and he was the first guy I seriously dated that my parents really knew nothing about.
I'm sure it drove my mother crazy, but I was thrilled. I had a sense of freedom; a sense of independence that I desperately wanted. I loved that I was the only one who knew what he made on his SAT or if he had ever been sent to the principal's office.
Back in my time of teenage angst, I really disliked my high school "situation" and felt a lot of pressure to be "good" all the time. Once I got to college, I was happy to be out from under the magnifying glass. Today, almost twenty years later, however, I have a little more perspective.
And, you know what they say about karma, right??
Well, "that guy" and I now have three daughters of our own. Although, I disliked my parents knowing everything about everyone back then, I totally get it now. My girls aren't in high school or seriously dating yet, but when they do - I'd pay good money for a look at the records of the boys who come a'courtin'!!!!
In fact, my oldest started middle school this year and pretty soon a particular young man began calling her quite frequently. My hubby completely went into reconnaissance mode. He Googled, Mapquested, and pretty soon knew more about the kid than my daughter did. My mother would have been really proud of him! :-)
It's funny how much becoming a parent can change your point of view, huh??
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This post was written as part of Finish The Sentence Friday. FTSF is hosted by some wonderful blogging ladies. Please give them a visit and check out all the other blogs that participate as well!
Janine at Janine’s Confessions of a Mommyaholic
21 comments:
Omg, I think Karma got me too on this one, because I so didn't want my mom to know anything when I was growing up, especially the boys I dated and now I too have two girls of my own. And you are right, I totally get it now! Seriously, I think my husband is going to have a heart attack at the first boy who is brought home to us and still got a few years, but know it is so coming!
OMG becoming a parent changes EVERYTHING. I'm hoping I'm not the biggest jerk on the planet, when my son is ready. Loved this.
Right??? I never pictured myself with girls until I actually had them! There are quite a few ways that my brother (two years older) was treated differently than I was. At the time, I thought it was so unfair, but now I get it!
Foreshadowing - It involves bowling, a disco ball, and beer. :-)
You will love it; they will hate it. BUT, they will appreciate it later on! :-)
Thanks, Krisit! You are most certainly NOT the biggest jerk on the planet, but he will probably think you are anyway. That's just how it goes~
Yes! It is funny how being a parent can change your perspective. I loved being rebellious and sprouting wings and dating bad boys and moving very far away, and not calling my parents for two weeks at a time! Now that I have kids, oh boy, I hope they're not like I was!
I came back, though.
Can just imagine the sense of freedom you had a college. That was a tough assignment you had - both parents teaching at your school. Whoa. One would be tricky but two...?
Yes, being a parent certainly does change your perspective. Send a few prayers my way - both my children are now at university!
It *is* funny how parenthood can change your perspective. It's so true!
It never dawned on me how different it would be to date in a small town--with your parents as teachers! GAH!! I think I would have wilted under that kind of microscope!! College must have felt like a world of difference!! 15 years! That's awesome!! --Lisa
It's a lot easier to stalk your kids' friends or boyfriends today than it was when we were kids - I guess that bodes well for us! For our kids, not so much.
*giggling* I love that your husband is SO much less chilled out about it than you.
Must've been tough growing up as the teachers' kid in a small town. I can quite understand why you felt so happy at that freedom. What a lovely secret to keep :)
Yes yes yes - on the parenting thing - I've met karma with my boy! Love the research your husband did. Too funny. Looking forward to your December story. I agree too that it would have been weird if any of my HS boyfriends mom or dad taught at the school.
Ironic isn't it how we hope our kids aren't like us?! Now, my mom is one of my best friends. :-)
My oldest is only 11, so we have a little while before she goes to college. I think all kids have a sense of freedom then, but I am confident that you gave them a good foundation and I'm trying to do that for my girls, too!
Yep - high school was a little rough, but college was great. :-)
Yes - it was so weird to see my hubby "spying" on that kid. Given my history, I was very torn about how I felt about it.
Yes - was so funny to see my going all spy crazy on that poor little guy! Being a teacher's kid had a few perks, but those perks were a little overshadowed.
Karma thinks she's so funny, doesn't she?!
I used to fuss at my mom for the fussy little things she did for my brother. This week I was peeled, cored and sliced an apple to put in Christopher's lunch. It's the only way he will eat it. I grimaced when Karma bit my butt.
Oh that is too funny!! Our kids really haven't started into the dating thing...my son goes to an all boys school so the only time he sees girls are at dances, and my daughter has lots of guy "friends" (always has) but isn't really into the whole boy-thing. Plus her academics and sports are really important to her, so she doesn't have a lot of free time. I'm in no rush to hurry it along. :)
very interesting piece from your life, keep writing,
waiting for the December story of that encounter LOL
Best Regards
Phil
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