Sunday, April 6, 2014

Little Words

Last week our schedule was completely nuts.  On Tuesday evening, my husband was out of town and all three kids needed to be somewhere different at the same time.  Fortunately, I have wonderful and very helpful in-laws who helped me do some of the shuttling and shuffling.  While they took the other two, I took Megan, my third grader, to the elementary school PTA meeting.  She is on the school's dance team and they performed.  Afterwards, Megan and I went to a small, local restaurant to grab a bite of supper.

Now, quality time with Megan is hard to come by.  She is the quintessential middle child and she marches to the beat of her own drummer.  She is also a ball of energy who rarely sits still.  She is not one to just sit and snuggle or even sit and chat for more than a minute.  So, on this evening, I was enjoying having a little one on one with her.

After we ate, we were finishing off with the restaurant's specialty - ice cream.  One of Megan's friends, *Marisa, from school had also stopped in with her family and she came over to sit with us while she enjoyed some ice cream, too.

Eventually, the girls began to talk about another girl from their school.  We'll call her *Anna.  Here's a little history.  Anna was new to the school this year and had some very visible special needs with regard to her mobility.  One day, earlier this year, Megan had told me about Anna.  Megan told me that lots of the other students didn't want to play with Anna on the playground because they didn't think she would be any fun.  My sweet Megan, however, had invited her to play and was a little surprised herself by how well Anna was able to keep up.  (Yes, I was one proud mama when she told me she had invited Ann to play with her.)  After that, Megan and Anna continued to play together on the playground and became friends.  In time, other children joined them, too, after seeing that Anna was just as much fun as anyone else.  Then, after Christmas break, Megan told me that Anna had moved to a different school.  Otherwise she didn't say much about it.

Now, fast forward back to that evening at the restaurant as Megan and her friend, Marisa, were talking.  According to their conversation, Anna's mom had decided to move Anna to another school because kids at their school were making fun of her and Anna was upset.  Now, I have no evidence if this was actually true or not, but my heart sank for Anna and her family at the thought that it could possibly be true.  As I sat there trying to take it all in, I heard my Megan say:


Just as quickly as my heart had deflated for Anna, it swelled back up with pride and joy that my daughter had gleaned this bit of wisdom from the situation.  Again, I don't know for sure if that is the reason Anna left, but, in my experience, kids have a way of knowing and telling the truth.  My Megan is also . . . shall we say a little nosy?  She loves school and seems, often, to know everything there is to know about the goings on there.  So, my guess is that there is at least some truth to what the girls were saying about the situation.

There is definitely truth in Megan's statement.  

Sometimes, we all forget how much impact our words can have on others.  We spout gossip and quick retorts without considering the consequences.  Then, as quickly as we quipped, we forget what we said.  But, sometimes, others don't forget.

I have shared before about having psoriasis when I was growing up.  I can remember so vividly four or five instances when someone said something so hurtful.  Some of them didn't mean it to be hurtful, but it was nonetheless.  Others were trying to make a joke, but I did not find it funny.  I can remember the faces and the names of those who said these things.  I can even picture the setting where it took place.  I'm sure they, twenty years later, have absolutely no recollection of the exchanges.  I do.  I still remember and it still stings.

I am sad that Megan lost a friend but, if what Megan and Marisa said is true, I hope that Anna has found a happier, kinder place.  And, I hope that Megan will always remember - I hope we will ALL remember - that little words can most definitely make a BIG difference.

*Anna and Marisa are not the actual names of the girls involved.  I have changed names for confidentiality.

14 comments:

Janine Huldie said...

Sounds like Megan is truly wise beyond her years and definitely can see why you are a proud mama, Lisa 😉

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

Thanks Janine! She is a ball of energy, but she has a big heart.

The Dose of Reality said...

You have an AMAZING daughter on your hands...no doubt because of the influence of her amazing mother. So glad you got to share this moment with her. :)-Ashley

Tamara Bowman said...

She's amazing! And clearly a writer already, with such a quote.
I can remember all of the hurtful things people said to me. Ever. What's funny is that I had an "enemy" in middle/high school and we have since become good friends. I apologized to her recently for something mean I did to her, and she had no recollection. I was surprised because I had been sitting on it for years! Anyway, usually I feel like what Megan said can be true and lifelong.

MamaRabia said...

Megan is wise beyond her years! What a great incite she had! :)

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

Aw, thanks! She is such a whirlwind that sometimes I forget just how big her heart really is! :-)

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

It can definitely be lifelong. It scars us, even if it doesn't scar the others involved. Funny that you pegged her as a writer because of her quote. I never though about it like that because she is a math girl - hates reading & writing! :-)

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

Most definitely!

Dana said...

Often the most profound words are uttered by children. Megan's words are so true, and they should be a reminder to all of us. I hope that she runs into Anna at some point in the future and they can reconnect. I'm sure that for all of the bad experiences Anna had at that school, Megan was a friend she will not forget.

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

I certainly hope so Dana!

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

Thanks Jennifer! We definitely need more Megan's and I only take a tiny bit of the credit for who she is.

Jodi @the noise of boys said...

I am so proud of Megan! Fantastic! AHHH What a good heart!
PS Pat on the back for mom and dad, too! :-)

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

Thanks Jodi! I'm pretty proud of her, too. :-)

Kristi Rieger Campbell said...

Megan rocks! She is wise and wonderful and I love that she befriended Anna. I, too, hope Anna's experience at her new school is better. And I know what you mean about perfectly being able to picture the setting and the faces of a situation that hurt us. I can remember details like that vividly too. It's amazing how much a hurt will burn into us forever.

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