The first two times I was pregnant, we decided not to find out the gender until the baby was born. It was really hard to wait, but we liked the "old fashioned" idea of being surprised. Both times, I knew in my heart they were girls long before the big day came and confirmed it.
The third time, however, I just had to know early on. My first two daughters were old enough to understand what was happening (at least a little). I also was not happy about the timing because my third was due just a couple weeks before my oldest would start kindergarten. I knew our lives would be crazy and I needed to be as prepared as possible mentally and functionally.
As the day of the ultrasound got closer and closer, I got more and more certain, too - certain that this one was a boy. My cravings were different this time. I had a touch of morning sickness which I had not had with the two previous pregnancies.
As I lay on the exam table awaiting confirmation of what I already knew, I envisioned going home and announcing to everyone, "It's a boy!" I already had his name chosen, too.
"Right there," said the ultrasound tech. "That's how I can tell it's a GIRL!"
"I knew it!" my hubby chimed in.
Honestly, I'm not quite sure what I said. I think I was a little in shock and I'm certain it took a few minutes for the reality to completely take hold.
As the months went on and my due date got closer, I got more used to the idea of having three daughters. I pulled out the tiny clothes my other two had worn and actually got to put pink in the nursery instead of just green and yellow.
Finally, the big day arrived. And, today, here we are seven years later.
As it turns out, the baby I was so certain was going to be a boy, is actually the girly-est one in our house. She insists on wearing only dresses and skirts. Even at night, she only wears nightgowns. She loves anything pink and frilly and sparkly. She loves shopping, shoes, purses, and makeup. She adores princesses and can spend hours playing with her dollhouse and princess figurines. She squeals in terror when she sees a bug and she does not do outside or dirt.
The one I thought was a boy is pure girl through and through.
On top of her femininity, she has the most compassionate heart. She cares for others and wants so much to help. She is witty and smart, but timid and oh so tenderhearted, too. She has a faith that simply amazes me and she moves at her own leisurely pace, taking in the world around her.
Best of all, when I put her to bed at night, she frequently throws her arms around my neck and says "I'm going to give you the longest hug in the history of hugs, Mommy!" and, then, she squeezes with all her might. I melt. Wrapped in her hug, I close my eyes and think to myself, "Please don't ever get too big for these hugs!"
I admit that there was a time when I "mourned" the loss of the son we would never have and that the idea of a third daughter took a while to settle in.
Now, though, I look at those freckles and that perfect smile and I cannot imagine our lives with any one else - with anyone other than this sweet, beautiful, delightful little girl.
Happy, Happy Birthday, Baby Girl! I love you to the moon times infinity and the morst! I love your girly-ness and your gigantic, soft heart. I love the way you love others. You give the best hugs, too! I wish you many, many, many more happy birthdays and the biggest hugs in the universe!