Thursday, July 31, 2014

Building Cathedrals

July 31st.  I cannot believe tomorrow is the first day of August.  This summer has flown by faster than any I can recall.  Overall, it has been wonderful.  Naturally, though, there have been "I want to pull my hair out" moments, too, when I was bombarded with request after request and couldn't seem to find two minutes of peace.  We moms get tired and overwhelmed.  Then, we feel guilty for mot making the most of every single second we have with our children.  It's a vicious cycle, really.

So, when I was looking through old posts trying to find something for my last blog rerun on this final day of July, I decided on the story below.  I have heard it a few more times since I first posted it in January, 2011 after my mom emailed to to me.  Based on the opening of that blog post, I was feeling a little harried and needed this reminder.  I sure my mom sensed that I could use a little encouragement.  I think all moms could probably use this reminder, though, even on the good days and especially on the bad ones. 

Thanks to my mom for sharing it with me over three years ago.  I haven't forgotten it.  Maybe you know a mom who needs to hear it right now, too??  If so, please share it with them.  If not, maybe you need it yourself or, maybe, you can just tuck it away for one of "those days" when you don't know if you are going to survive this thing called parenting.

The Invisible Mother
                                     ~by Mary Lynn Plaisance 

It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and ask to be taken to the store. Inside I'm thinking, 'Can't you see I'm on the phone?'

Obviously not; no one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner because no one can see me at all. I'm invisible. The Invisible Mom. Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more! Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this??

Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask, 'What time is it?' I'm a satellite guide to answer, 'What number is the Disney Channel?' I'm a car to order, 'Right around 5:30, please.'

Some days I'm a crystal ball: 'Where's my other sock? Where's my phone? What's for dinner?'

I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history, music and literature--but now, they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. She's going, she's going, she's gone!

One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England . She had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when she turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, 'I brought you this.' It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe . I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription: 
'With admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees.'

In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work: 1) No one can say who built the great cathedrals--we have no record of their names. 2) These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished. 3) They made great sacrifices and expected no credit. 4) The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.

A story of legend in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, 'Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof, No one will ever see it And the workman replied, 'Because God sees.'

I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, "I see you. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does."

No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, no Cub Scout meeting, no last minute errand is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become.

I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on. The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.

When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, "My Mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for three hours and presses all the linens for the table." That would mean I'd built a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, he'd say, "You're gonna love it there..."

As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we're doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible mothers.  
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Build on, mamas. Build on! You are seen. You are appreciated. 
Your cathedrals are magnificent.  

Tuesday, July 29, 2014

STRANDED! (#TuesdayTen Linkup)

Have you ever noticed that Americans seem to be a bit obsessed with the idea of being stranded on a deserted island somewhere?  It started back int he 60's when Gilligan's Island  first aired on CBS.  Later, in the 70's and 80's, the show was again made popular through syndication.  Then, in 2000, there was the Tom Hanks movie, Castaway,  that was hugely successful and earned Hanks a Best Actor nomination.  Also in 2000, CBS aired the first episode of the series Survivor.  That show is entering its 29th season and is still extremely popular.  Versions of the show also air in many different countries.  The most recent manifestation of this fascination with survival is the Discovery Channel series called Naked and Afraid in which one man and one woman who, upon meeting for the first time, are left in some harsh climate to survive for 21 days with absolutely nothing but each other and their wits - no tools, no food, and no clothes.

Why are we so enthralled with this idea of survival??  I have no idea.  In fact, to me, it sounds like pure torture.  My family has actually been suggesting lately that we try a camping trip, but I am just not a "roughing it" kind of gal.  Living in the wilderness without basic modern comforts does NOT sound like fun to me.

Nevertheless, when I saw something like "What You Would Take With You On a Deserted Island" in a list of blog prompts, I knew it would be great for our Tuesday Ten!  It actually turned out to be much harder than I thought, though.

Of course, I would love to take my iPhone and my computer with me, but assuming there would be no electricity, I suppose they wouldn't do me much good.  I realize also, that very few people actually plan to end up on a deserted island, so making a list like this is a little ridiculous.  However, the way my kids have been bickering this afternoon, the idea of being stranded, ALONE, on a beautiful beach somewhere is sounding better and better!!!

So, here are . . . . . . .
  1. Fire Starter - I like my creature comforts, but even I know I would need light, heat, and protection.  I would take some sort of fire starter.  Matches would run out and could get wet, but surely there is something at my local REI that would be more durable!
  2. Tent - Instead of trying to build my own shelter out of bamboo and vines, I would just take a tent - if I was planning ahead.
  3. Food - I would take as much non-perishable food as I possibly could because I have no idea what would be available on my deserted island and I am not very good at fishing.
  4. Water purifier - If REI has a firestarter, surely they also have some sort of water purifier, too, right??  I would need one of these to make sure I have water that is safe to drink.
  5. Books- I imagine there would be quite a bit of "down time" during the day, so I would need something to keep me busy.  I would love to have some good books to read and maybe even a few how-to books that could help me with my survival skills.
  6. Pen and Paper- I'm a writer and I need to write.  I would want a pen and paper to keep track of the days and to journal about my experience.
  7. Basic tools - Even though I'm not excited by the idea of "roughing it" and have never actually been camping, I know I would need some tools.  I would definitely take a few knives - some large, some small.  I would take a few other basic tools as well that might come in handy like a hammer and a saw.
  8. Clothes and shoes -  I wouldn't take a whole wardrobe, but it would be nice to have a couple extra things so I could wash and have at least semi-clean clothes.  Shoes would be a must as well because injured feet are not good!
  9. Pictures - I wouldn't want my family to suffer with me, but I would want to have pictures of them.  If I wanted to give up, maybe the pictures and thoughts of getting back to them would keep me going.
  10. An endless supply of sunscreen and bug repellent - Okay.  This is a little far fetched, I know.  However, this fair skinned girl would be cooked if I was in the sun all day every day and I cannot stand bugs.  So, if I'm making an imaginary list, I'm taking sunscreen and bug spray!
**And, then my husband chimes in and says "Why don't you just take a solar charger for your phone and computer?!?!"  Well, If I had know there was such a thing . . . . .  .

What would you take if you knew you were headed to a deserted island?



Your Tuesday Ten hostesses are:

TheLiebers


The Teacher Wife
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We hope you have enjoyed our #TuesdayTen lists! If so, please link up one of your own and share your post using #TuesdayTen!
RULES:
1) Link up a post, old or new, pertaining to the TuesdayTen topic for this week and add our TuesdayTen button to your post or sidebar.
2) Please do not link up contests, product reviews, or sponsored posts. Links not pertaining to the topic will be removed at the hosts' discretion.
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4) Visit as many other linked posts as you can and show those bloggers some love by commenting and/or sharing.
5) By linking up you agree to be subscribed to out #TuesdayTen mailing list. Emails are only sent once a week and you can unsubscribe at any time. If you would like to be added to the mailing list without linking up, click here.

Come link up again next Tuesday, August 5 when we will be sharing ten things we love about our best friends in honor of National Friendship day (which is actually Aug. 3).

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Thursday, July 24, 2014

Growing Together With Raising Humans

I have been asked before in a couple Ask Away Friday posts to identify the oldest unfinished post in my draft folder.  It's title was "An Update on the Blankie Situation."  I once wrote about my youngest daughter's attachment to her blankies, my attempt to thwart her need for them, and promised an update.  That was in 2011 and I never wrote the update.  Until now . . . . 

This week, I am taking a break from the ThrowBack Thursday Blog Reruns I have been doing during the month of July because I am guest posting today at Raising Humans

I found Tricia and her blog not too long ago and, then, was lucky enough to meet her at BlogU back in June. 

Tricia is an amazing writer and her words are simply beautiful. She has a way of sharing insight into motherhood and mothering that is so eloquent and graceful. She honestly inspires me to be a better writer every time I read her words. 

So, as you can imagine, I was quite honored when Tricia invited me to be part of her Growing Together Series where bloggers share about how they are growing as parents and as people. I have closed comments here today, but I hope you will click HERE  to head over to Raising Humans and read my piece about why my not-so-little youngest daughter still has her beloved blankie and why I still let her keep it. (I will be reading and responding to comments over there.) Then, do yourself a favor and mosey around the rest of Tricia's blog a little.  You will not regret it - I promise!


Tuesday, July 22, 2014

Just Relax {#TuesdayTen Linkup}

Today, July 22nd, is National Hammock Day!  When I think of a hammock, I think of it strung in the shade between two trees, gently sawing in the breeze.  Or, perhaps, it's hanging on the deck of a lovely little cottage overlooking the ocean and, as I swing in it, I can hear the seagulls and the waves.  Either way, it sounds pretty relaxing, doesn't it??  So, Rabia and I thought that National Hammock Day would be the perfect time to talk about the things that help us to relax!


I actually find it quite difficult to really relax.  My mind is always turning with what needs to be done - and there is ALWAYS something that needs to be done!  As soon as I sit down, I start thinking about the laundry or the blog post or the {Fill in the blank} that I SHOULD be doing instead.  However, we have to allow ourselves to relax at some point.  Otherwise, we would go crazy!  So, when I am wound up tight and need to calm down, here are some things that help.
  1. Writing - Writing feeds my soul.  It is difficult to explain to someone who isn't a writer, but I am compelled to write.  When I don't, it's like bottling up all the emotions and things I want to say.  Writing it out, typing it up relieves the stress of holding it in.  Once the kids are back in school and we settle in to a more regular routine again, I am making it my goal to write something every day.
  2. Reading - Sadly, I don't read many books, but I read lots of blogs.  Reading them allows me to connect with other people.  We often have similar experiences and feelings.  Reading their words validates my own and our connections become deeper through our words.
  3. A hot shower - I am usually showering in the morning before my family is up or at night after the kids are in bed, so it is one of the few times I am not interrupted too much.  That's probably why I find it so relaxing and why I actually do some of my best thinking in the shower!  I have written some of my best ever blog posts in my head while standing under the shower head.  Too bad I usually forget them as soon as my feet hit the bathmat! 
  4. The Beach - I love the beach.  I love to sit in my chair, close my eyes, and just listen to the waves.  Of course, with children, I can't close my eyes for long!  Still, there is something about the sound and steady cadence of the waves that soothes my nerves.

  5. Music - Music has the ability to make us feel so many emotions.  No matter what my stressors are, somewhere in my iPod, there is probably a song about it.  Music can lift me up and/or calm me down.
  6. Time Alone - I am an introvert by nature and I honestly need quiet time alone occasionally to collect my thoughts and stop the wheels from turning inside my brain.  Some days, there are people coming at me from every direction - kids, husband, co-workers, friends, obligations.  At the end of it, I am wound up tightly and exhausted.  Just a few minutes of solitude allows me the space to sort it all out in my mind, unwind, and refresh.
  7. My Kids - Sometimes (oftentimes), my kids are my biggest stressors.  They are, however, my biggest relievers as well.  They can wrap their arms around my neck, make me laugh, or just say "I love you, Mama!" and all my worries melt away, even for just a few seconds.
  8. Talking It Out - Honestly, if it weren't for my husband, I would lose my mind.  He listens to me no matter how big or small my problem is.  He allows me the space to say it - whatever it is - out loud.  He understands me and helps me put things in perspective. 
  9. Taking a Walk - I started doing this for exercise, but have found that it is actually relaxing as well.  Usually, my only company is my dog, so I have time to be quiet and sort through my thoughts.  I can focus on the beauty and sounds of nature as I clear my mind and decompress.
  10. Friends - My friends are mostly moms who are experiencing many of the same headaches I am experiencing.  We can talk, and commiserate, and laugh, and maybe even cry.  Knowing that others share our struggles somehow makes them easier to bear and reminds us that we are not alone in this game of life.  



Your Tuesday Ten hostesses are:

TheLiebers


The Teacher Wife
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We hope you have enjoyed our #TuesdayTen lists! If so, please link up one of your own and share your post using #TuesdayTen!
RULES:
1) Link up a post, old or new, pertaining to the TuesdayTen topic for this week and add our TuesdayTen button to your post or sidebar.
2) Please do not link up contests, product reviews, or sponsored posts. Links not pertaining to the topic will be removed at the hosts' discretion.
3) Visit your hosts and follow them on social media.
4) Visit as many other linked posts as you can and show those bloggers some love by commenting and/or sharing.
5) By linking up you agree to be subscribed to out #TuesdayTen mailing list. Emails are only sent once a week and you can unsubscribe at any time. If you would like to be added to the mailing list without linking up, click here.

Come link up again next Tuesday, July, when the topic will be Ten Things You Would Take With You on a Deserted Island!

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Thursday, July 17, 2014

Today . . .I Decide

As I sit here, it is Wednesday night and I am completely exhausted - physically, mentally, and emotionally.   We are having Vacation Bible School at our church this week and, for the first time, I am participating as a parent, a church member, a volunteer (kind of), AND a staff member.  It has been unexpectedly trying, yet uplifting and joyful, too.

I finally sat down to breathe around 9:30 tonight and realized that I had not yet typed up my Thursday Blog Rerun post for this week.  I had something planned on paper, but, instead of going with what was penciled in, I started searching through old blog posts to find one I wanted to re-post.  Pretty soon, I landed on this one and, as the saying goes, it "spoke" to me.

This week I have been tired and distracted. I have tried to juggle it all and, most of the time, I know I was largely unsuccessful.  At the very least, I was a quintessential Jack Jill of many trades and master of NONE.

Tomorrow is the last day of VBS and my last chance to do it better.  As the week wraps up, I will say good-bye to friends and then travel to see old friends I haven't visited in far too long.  I will smile, sing, and maybe (probably) cry.  I will, once again, wear many hats.  It will be a whirlwind, no doubt. This passage, however, reminds me that my outlook is my choice and, so, tomorrow I will choose to focus on the positive. 

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This was originally posted on March 16, 2011.

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Each Day We Choose 


Today I can complain because the weather is rainy or I can be thankful that the grass is getting watered for free.

Today I can feel sad that I don’t have more money or I can be glad that my finances encourage me to plan my purchases wisely and guide me away from waste.

Today I can grumble about my health or I can rejoice that I am alive.

Today I can lament over all that my parents didn’t give me when I was growing up or I can feel grateful that they allowed me to be born.

Today I can cry because roses have thorns or I can celebrate that
thorns have roses.

Today I can mourn my lack of friends or I can excitedly embark upon a
quest to discover new relationships.

Today I can whine because I have to go to work or I can shout for joy
because I have a job to go to!

Today I can complain because I have to go to school or eagerly open my
mind and fill it with knowledge and adventure.

Today I can dejectedly murmur because I have housework to do or I can
feel grateful for shelter for my mind, body and soul.

Today stretches ahead of me, waiting to be shaped, and here I am, the
sculptor who gets to do the shaping. What today will be like is up to
me. And I shall decide what kind of day I shall have!

How will you live THIS DAY?

~Author Unknown


Tuesday, July 15, 2014

My Favorite Apps {Tuesday Ten Linkup}

When I was younger, I heard stories from my dad about life "before television" and from my mom about traveling with babies "before car seats."  It seemed so unimaginable to me.  Now, I tell my kids about the days "before cell phones" and simply cannot fathom it.

I admit that I am extremely dependent on my iPhone. I take it everywhere. Should I forget it (gasp!), I feel discombobulated and as if I am missing something integral to my ability to function.  In fact, almost everyone I know feels this way about their phones!    

So, what are we actually doing when we have our faces glued to the tiny screen??  Well, we thought that would be a good topic for this week's Tuesday Ten Linkup!  Today, we are sharing our favorite and most used apps.



Social Media

1. Facebook - Yes, Facebook is making things difficult for bloggers these days.  However, it is still my favorite social media platform and I spend far too much time on it.

2.  Twitter - I only use Twitter for blogging purposes - promoting posts and connecting with other bloggers.   I am trying, though, to do better with it.  Anytime I have a few seconds, I try to send out a few retweets or favorite some funnies.

3.  Pinterest - You can find anything on Pinterest!  If I'm looking for a new recipe, blog tips, or Vacation Bible School decorations, I know I can find it there.

Information

4.  Google Maps -  I am TERRIBLE with directions.  I love that I can plug in an address and the Google Maps robo voice with tell me exactly how to get there.

5.  AccuWeather - I have become much more concerned about the weather since I had kids.  I need to know how to dress them and whether it's their softball game will be rained out.  My kids are kind of weather nerds, too - especially the oldest.  I especially love the radar in this app for tracking summer thunderstorms!

Blogging

6.  Blogger - Blogger is the platform I use for my blog and the Blogger app lets me post on the fly.  I rarely type and entire post from the app,  but I can type some notes before I forget my inspiration.

7.  Bloglovin - I use Bloglovin to keep up with all the blogs I love to follow. I can use the app to read some of them if I'm waiting in an office or in the carpool line.

Games

8. Candy Crush - I may or may not have had a Candy Crush addiction a few months ago.    I'm surprised my family didn't hide my phone from me, actually.  While I have curbed the addiction for now, the app is still on my phone.

9.  Cookie Doodle - This one is for my girls!  It's an fun kids' game where they can pretend to make cookies.  All of my girls, even the almost 12 year old, still like to make me virtual cookies sometimes.

10.  MakeUp Girls - This is my youngest daughter's favorite app.  You can choose a girl and fix her up will all kinds of make up and hairstyles.  

There are the 10 most used apps on my iPhone!  How about yours??



*******


Your Tuesday Ten hostesses are:

TheLiebers


The Teacher Wife
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We hope you have enjoyed our #TuesdayTen lists! If so, please link up one of your own and share your post using #TuesdayTen!
RULES:
1) Link up a post, old or new, pertaining to the TuesdayTen topic for this week and add our TuesdayTen button to your post or sidebar.
2) Please do not link up contests, product reviews, or sponsored posts. Links not pertaining to the topic will be removed at the hosts' discretion.
3) Visit your hosts and follow them on social media.
4) Visit as many other linked posts as you can and show those bloggers some love by commenting and/or sharing.
5) By linking up you agree to be subscribed to out #TuesdayTen mailing list. Emails are only sent once a week and you can unsubscribe at any time. If you would like to be added to the mailing list without linking up, click here.

Come link up again next Tuesday, July 22.  It's National Hammock Day, so we will be sharing things that help us to relax! :-)

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