Thursday, March 5, 2015

When You Can't Write What You Want to Write

You know what really annoys me? Grinds my gears? Gets under my skin? When I have something I want to write about, but, because of circumstances, I can't write about it.

I have had plenty of bouts with writer's block when I couldn't come up with anything at all to get my fingers typing. On the flip side, I have occasionally (like now) had something I really wanted to blog about, but it was just something I couldn't in good conscience put here in this space for all the world to see. Perhaps it was because it would embarrass someone else or because it was a topic that I knew would anger people. Maybe it was even something that I was told in confidence and I couldn't risk breaking the trust of the one who shared something personal with me. 

Such is the conundrum of blogging. 

The fact is that anyone from anywhere in the world could land on my little tiny piece of the internet at any second. Although I always knew this in theory, I got a real wake up call a couple years ago when my oldest daughter was in 5th grade and one of her classmates liked my blog's Facebook page. Yep. You read that correctly. I blocked her from my page because I just wasn't comfortable with the situation, but I had to wonder "How many posts has she read already? Were any of them about my daughter? Did any of them include information that would give this child reason to make fun of my daughter or dislike her?"

I have seen bloggers post things that went completely viral garnering millions of views even though they admit they put very little effort into the post and didn't expect anyone much to read it. I have also seen bloggers slaughtered and heartbroken by nasty comments on a post they thought was totally innocuous.  

The fact is, when we put something out here in the internet, we never know where it will go or what will happen. Therefore, we walk a fine line of being true to ourselves, respecting the people we care about, and reigning it in "just enough" to make sure we don't offend (except for the bloggers who offend on purpose for effect and those who really, truly do not care if they offend because they are uber secure in themselves).


This week, I dealt with a situation that could create lots of blog fodder if I let it. I could write about showing my girls the importance of standing up for what you believe in. I could write about my wonderful friends who supported me and encouraged me. I could write about how there are some things only other bloggers can comprehend. I could. Except I can't. I won't out of respect for the others that could potentially be affected. 

It's a decision we make every time we sit down with a computer in our lap and a keyboard beneath our fingers. Even you are not a blogger  - every Facebook post, every tweet, every email - has the potential to embarrass someone, encourage someone, hurt someone, or make someone laugh. 

Be honest; be yourself; be careful. It is not always an easy thing to do and, sometimes, it means not writing what you really want to write.

This post was part of the Finish the Sentence Friday linkup. 
Finish the Sentence Friday

31 comments:

Janine Huldie said...

Definitely have had my moments and also very much worry about how open and forthcoming I haven been on my own blog, especially about my kids. Not sure what advice I would give, but still just had to let you know that it isn't just you by any means.

TheMissusV said...

Love Tacos but have never tried chicken! Looks yum!

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

I won't lie, Tamara - It is getting really hard to write about my kids. My oldest will be 13 in August (Gasp!). I could write a novel about adolescent hormones, having "the talk," etc. but I just can't do that to her - to them. I have friends, people from church, the kids' teachers who come to me and say "Hey, I loved that post on your blog yesterday!" Every time I panic and think "Crap! What was it about? What exactly did he/she read???"

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

I was told a lot more stories about my kids when they were younger. Now that they are getting older, I definitely hold back more and do more "general" motherhood stuff.

Jill Robbins said...

I make something very similar - it's my favorite standby, comfort meal. We use chicken, taco seasoning, black beans and corn. We usually have it over rice but use tortillas sometimes. I love it!

Allie said...

Lisa, I totally agree with you. Just last week I wrote about my writer's block and the anxiety I felt watching a few friends write a seeming innocuous post and get burned at the stake. It affects my writing, too.

Sarah said...

Looks yummy! I make a slow cooked chicken with cilantro & peppers!

Chris Carter said...

Love this!! I am going to try it asap.

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

:-) They are!

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

They are so good and a nice change form the usual.

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

Sounds great!

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

That sounds yummy too!

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

Yay! You'll love it - and very family friendly.

Anna Fitfunner said...

Yep, it's important to watch carefully the boundaries between blog life and Real Life. I think about this for EVERY post, comment, Tweet, etc. that I write. I want to communicate my message, but know that I need to do it in an appropriate way. Great point and great way to flip writer's block into a great post!

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

Yes - my first round with nasty commenters was a shock to my system for sure. It hasn't happened to me recently, but has to a couple blogger friends. It's always in the back of my mind when I publish something.

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

Thanks, Anna! I try really hard to remember ti for everything I post, too. It's scary, though, that something I think is find always has the potential to be taken he wrong way by others.

Kristi - Finding Ninee said...

YES! There is so so much that I want to write about now but can't. Sigh. I so get this. And yowza - one of your daughter's friends liked your FB page? Not looking forward to the day when Tucker's friends are old enough to do stuff like that.

Dana said...

I totally get it, Lisa. I know that I could write an amazing and powerful post about a certain topic, but I never will. Ever. And I have a cute and funny post completely written that will never be published, because Gwen doesn't want me to publish it.

Chris Carter said...

Oh you nailed it, Lisa!! I have to be SO intentional in every single thing I write!! Oh, how I wish I could write SO SO SO much more... but for the sake of others involved, I can't. I get this. I SO get this!!

Tarana said...

This looks so yummy, and easy to make too! Going to save this recipe for later.

Kelly Mckenzie said...

You are so right! There is a post I wish with all my heart that I could share but I never will. The hurt to my daughter and others could be immense. Also, I shall never ever forget the huge wakeup call I got from a techie friend who told me he couldn't read my blog any longer. What? His laptop was broken, wifi down, or what? None of that. He said I was sharing far too much by showing photos of my kids. He shuddered to think how easy it would be for savvy folk to figure out way more than I wanted them to know. While his fears might be a bit excessive I've taken note and never share photos of them anymore except from behind.

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

Hope you like them!

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

Yeah - that totally freaked me out. They don't even got to the same school anymore, but still. Was a real wake up call. I also frequently have someone at church or one of the kids teachers come up to me and say "Hey! I read your post about {whatever}!" and I think "Oh crap! What else did they read?!?!"

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

Very true. It's getting much harder as my kids are getting older, too.

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

It's great that you respect her so much, though, and that you wouldn't post anything she didn't want you to. I'm trying keep that in mind with mine, too.

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

It is so hard. I am terrible at keeping "secrets" and sometime I really just want to get it out, but I can't - at least not here on the blog!

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

Yes - I do share photos of my kids occasionally, but not nearly as mutes I used to. I used to think the bloggers who did the photos from behind or made up names for their kids were a little over paranoid. I certainly don't think that anymore and have heard a few horror stories.

ruchira said...

I hear ya Lisa, cause as moms our brains are so clogged up with ideas, itineraries, and to-do stuff that when put on the spot...it can get intimidating.
xoxo

christine said...

I have kids in high school and middle school, and I post very little about them. I use I use fake names so they can't be googled. I try to keep my blog hush, hush, but people talk. My daughter's best friend reads the blog. Just last week, some girls were looking for photos of my daughter to put on her locker for her birthday, and the best friend said, "Use the ones from her mom's blog". I am SO glad I don't write much about the older kids, and when I do, I ask their permission first. So many things can't be written, and that's OK. We can't use other people to feed our need to write.

Kristi - Finding Ninee said...

Pinned it - this is definitely something I'll make!

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

Yay! Hope you enjoy!

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