Wednesday, July 22, 2015

I Will Always Cheer Them On

I am almost forty years old and I can’t swim. My parents are not swimmers, so, when I was growing up, we didn’t spend summer days hanging out at the community pool and I always cringed when I received an invitation to a birthday pool party. Their fear of the water became my fear of the water.

Ironically, though, I married a guy who grew up with a pool in his backyard and he swims like a fish. When we were dating, he tried to teach me to swim and I even took lessons at the YMCA, but my phobia won and I never completely learned. 

In an even more ridiculous twist of fate, “that guy” and I now live with our three daughters in the same house where he was raised and with the same pool in what is now our backyard. Over the years, I have become more comfortable in the water and, occasionally, I even venture into the deep end with a pool noodle tucked snuggly under my arms. I doggie paddle a bit, but still, I am definitely not what anyone would call a good swimmer.

Yet, I have spent hours sitting by the pool watching my girls (accompanied by someone who can swim) splash in the shallow end, play Marco Polo, and, eventually, conquer the deep end and the diving board. Despite my own insecurities, I have repeatedly encouraged them to go down the slide, encouraged them to jump in, and cheered for them after they did it because I don’t want them to inherit my fear. I want something better for them. 

That is the paradox of parenting, isn’t it?

Like most parents, I want to give my kids something more than I had myself. It’s not that I had a bad childhood - quite the contrary. My childhood was wonderful and full of love. Still, I want to give my daughters a bigger, brighter future. I want them to have success beyond their wildest dreams. I want them to be happier than anyone could imagine. I want them to learn things I didn’t learn and experience things I have never experienced. I want to give them the confidence to take on any challenge and conquer it triumphantly. Often, that means I have to stifle my own uneasiness and let them do the things that terrify me the most.

I held my breath as they took their first steps, but I let go so they could do it on their own.

Though I was nervous, I let them walk into kindergarten on their own and I let them go on the class trip without me. 

I encouraged them to try out for the team although I was scared they would be heartbroken.

I let them jump off the diving board knowing that, if the unthinkable happened, I couldn't save them myself.

Eventually, I will let them get behind the wheel and drive away alone. The only thing more frightening than that, is the anticipation of someday watching them walk down the aisle into someone else’s arms. 


I know, though, that if I want them to learn how to swim, I have to let them dive in. So, I will hold my breath, pretend I’m not scared, and always cheer them on. 

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This post was part of the One Word Blog Linkup hosted by, Janine of Confessions of a Mommyholic and me! This week, the word prompt choices were Blessing and AbsurdIf you would like to join the linkup you can find more information HERE, sign up for weekly emails HERE, and/or join our Facebook group HERE. Every Friday, two prompts are emailed. Choose one and write a post using that word as inspiration. Linkup up any time between 6:00am EST on Wednesday-9:00pm EST on Thursdays on any of the host sites.








   

12 comments:

Janine Huldie said...

Aw, Lisa parenting so often is all about the irony and yet somehow we just always try to still do our best for our kids no matter what. Still love how you related it this here.

Tricia at Raising Humans said...

So so true. It's so hard to not let our own fears get in the way of our parenting. So good that you encourage your girls!

Angela Caswell said...

haha, I can't swim either. the plan was to get "family lessons" for the kids and me after the move (hey there's that word again), but things just keep getting in the way.

Artadorned said...

The only thing that should matter is that you try!


www.artadored.com

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

Thanks Janine!

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

Thanks Tricia!

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

Well, I wish you luck with it! I have just never been able to overcome the fear enough to relax in the water.

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

It seems to follow us all through our parenting journey!

Mary Hill said...

I never rode four wheelers growing up. We couldn't afford them. I worry though that my daughter might get hurt. I don't like watching her on it. But I will cheer her on too. ;)

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

I feel the same about roller coasters. I hate them but, if my daughters want to try them, I will cheer them on!

Stacey Gannett said...

Great post, Lisa! I, too, am not a great swimmer and took lessons twice! Luckily the kids have all learned, somewhat. My hubby also swims like a fish, growing up in Miami! LOL! It is hard watching them fly, my oldest has been on his own for two years, and I am thankful that his subconscious heard the lessons that I preached. He just took a new job, and bought a newer car, and he is doing wonderful, but the worry is still there. LOL! Have a great week!

Dana said...

I know this feeling very well, Lisa. Watching my daughter drive off on her own is still terrifying, but I don't let her see my fear. And I don't tell her that I stalk her on Find my Friends...

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