Thursday, September 22, 2016

Maybe

August 18th. That's the date of my last blog post. It's been just over a month since I opened up this tab on my computer and typed any words in this space. 

So, what's been happening? Life. That's what. 

Like everything in life, blogging is an ever evolving thing. For me, the "evolving" turned into de-volving. Since earlier this year, blogging had just become more of a burden than an enjoyable hobby. I was disheartened by having pieces rejected. I was feeling restricted regarding what I could write about and completely out of fresh ideas. I was overwhelmed by the obligation to blog I had imposed on myself and the guilt I felt at the thought of losing connections to blogging friends. 

Finally, I reached a boiling point, said to myself, "To heck with it all!" and stepped away.

I told myself I would write if I felt like it and when I had time, but I WOULD NOT let it be something else on my to-do list that stressed me out anymore. Then, "if I felt like it and when I had time" became "I haven't even looked at my own blog or read anyone else's in over a month."

The thing is, though, I can't say I've even really missed it. 

Maybe that's because, with the kids back in school and it being one of the "busy seasons" at my own job, I just haven't had time to think about blogging - or the fact that I haven't blogged. 

Maybe it's because with a not-so-new-anymore part time job, I no longer crave the validation blogging once provided.

Maybe it's because I'm just in a different season of life with different priorities now. 

Maybe it's because I just needed a break for a while. 

Maybe -probably- it's some combination of all of the above. 

There hasn't been any big, official "I'm on hiatus" announcement - and there won't be- because maybe I'll keep writing sometimes. Maybe I won't. Maybe I'll suddenly have a flurry of ideas and start posting regularly again. Maybe it will just fade away completely. 

Right now, I don't know those answers and, for once, I'm okay with that. 

Maybe I'll come back full force sooner or later and, if I do, this little space I've created will be here waiting. Hopefully, some of you will still be here, too. 

Maybe I'll never post anything ever again. I hope that's not what happens, but I think I'd be alright if is was. 

Maybe, I'll continue to move forward and find some sort of middle ground eventually that can be enjoyable, but not stressful. 

In the meantime, thanks for (maybe) nothing that I haven't been posting anything, (maybe) wondering why, and hanging around anyway. 




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