Tuesday, August 29, 2017

Our Last First Day of Middle School

I originally wrote this letter to my oldest daughter in August 2013 as she was about to begin middle school. At the time, it was brand new territory for all of us and we were both a little scared. 

Two years later, I shared it with my middle daughter as she embarked on her middle school journey.

Today, my youngest starts 5th grade, considered middle school at the school they attend. That means, it's our LAST FIRST day of middle school. Of course, I knew this was coming last spring as she finished up elementary school. I attended my last class party, possibly my last field trip as a parent chaperone, and did my last run in the elementary school carpool drop off line. Admittedly, part of me wanted to turn cartwheels and jump for joy. Another part of me, though, cried silent tears for the innocence and simplicity of childhood that has, somehow, slipped away in the blink of an eye. 

This is one of many, though - many last firsts - because there is a last time for everything, right? 

So, today, I share these words one more time - one last time. I still believe in them and hope they will continue to carry ALL my girls through the good times and the bad ones. 
Dear Emily,

Today, you start middle school. Since you are the youngest, I've been down this road before with your sisters, but that doesn't make it any easier for me to swallow and, probably, doesn't make you any less nervous than they were. Right now, I know you are excited about meeting new people, having new experiences, and gaining more independence. I am excited, too. I know that you are also a little scared, though, and I want you to know that I am, too.

I have heard lots of stories about kids - tweens and teens- making bad decisions, succumbing to peer pressure, using social media for inappropriate purposes, and trying to do grown up things like sexting and drugs far too soon. I read plenty accounts of means girls and heard plenty stories about adolescent drama  I'm sure you have heard some of these stories, too. Part of me wants to think my daughters are too smart and too good to fall into those traps. However, there is another part of me that refuses to be a naive parent who is blind to the truth.

We are currently standing at the bottom of a mountain - a mountain called adolescence and puberty and middle school and high school. We are preparing for the climb that will lead us to a peak with the most wonderful views and a fantastic sense of accomplishment. On our way there, though, as we climb to the top, we will certainly stumble on occasion. When the going gets tough (and even when it's easy), I want you to remember these pieces of advice.  I will do all that I can to remember them as well.

  1. Work hard.  Remember that school work comes first and everything else is secondary.  That includes sports and friends and other hobbies. I don't expect you to be perfect, but I do expect you to try your hardest every time. If you do, I will be proud, but you will be prouder.
  2. Be brave.  You are going to have so many new experiences. Some will be good.  Some will not. When you face these challenges, have courage. Stand up for what you believe even if it makes you "uncool." That will fade, but your courage will make a lasting impression.
  3. Be yourself.  You are unique and wonderful and just the way God intended you to be.  Don't ever change in an effort to "fit in." If others cannot see how fantastic and remarkable you are, that is their loss - not yours.
  4. Do what you know is right.  When others are pressuring you to do something and your gut tells you not to - LISTEN! We have tried our best to teach you what is right and what is wrong. You will know it in your heart. You just have to follow your instincts.
  5. Get organized.  School and life are only going to get harder, busier, and more complicated from here on out. Get organized now. Learn how to manage your time. Don't procrastinate. These are habits that will help you in middle school, in high school, in whatever career you choose, and in life for a long time to come.
  6. Be kind.  Adolescence can be tough and awkward and uncomfortable.  Remember that everyone is struggling with something. Do unto others as you would have done unto yourself. Even when it's not popular, be compassionate and courteous.
  7. Be confident.  You are awesome. Don't ever forget that. You can do anything you set your mind to. You will change the world - I'm sure of it.
  8. Surround yourself with the right kind of people. There is an old saying (that I heard many times from Memaw and Paw) that says something like "you are no better than the company you keep." If others are mean or deceitful or immoral or if they try to change you, then they are not the kind of people with whom you should spend your time. Rise above them.  
  9. Remember that we will always love you.  Daddy and I are here for you anytime you need us and there is nothing you can say or do that will make us stop loving you. If you have questions, we will find answers. If you are unsure how to handle a situation, we will gladly give you guidance. If your heart is breaking, we will dry your tears. If you have made a mistake, we will help you amend it. If you are about to explode with joy, we will share your happiness. All you have to do is come to us. We are NEVER too busy for you and your "problems" are NEVER too small or too big. All you have to do is talk. We will listen. I promise. 
  10. Have fun.  You are on the brink of learning so much and experiencing so much. It won't all be easy going - there will be bumps in the road. But, despite the bumps, there will also be lots to enjoy. Smile. Laugh. Make new friends. Soak it in. Enjoy this stage in your life. Believe me, it will go by faster than you can believe!


Janine Huldie said...

Aw, beautiful letter and I was crying by the end of this. We still have a few years here yet, but I can't even begin to imagine how many tears I will truly shed once that day does come for us here, too.

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

It is a strange sensation, for sure!

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