I was in the kitchen getting ready to make supper on Sunday evening. The sink was full of dirty dishes, as usual, so I decided to unload the dishwasher and re-load it with the dirty plates, cups, and utensils before I began cooking. I opened the dishwasher and realized that I had loaded the dishwasher with messy dishes the night before, but had, once again, neglected to hit the start button. I cursed under my breath just as my husband walked through.
"Did you forget to start it again?" he asked. "Sometimes, I really worry about you, my love!" he chuckled.
You see, it's a running joke at my house - me forgetting to start the dishwasher - because it happens quite frequently. In fact, it seems that at least once a week I find myself in this same predicament.
Hitting the button should be the easy part, right? So, why do I keep forgetting this tiny, simple little thing?
Well, it's because I've got a lot of balls.
Ahem. I mean, I’ve got a lot of things going on - a lot of proverbial balls I'm juggling.
I read a blog post recently that contended the majority of the "mental load" in a household rests on the shoulders of the mom. I would have to agree. Now, don't get me wrong. My husband has plenty of things to juggle, too. He is the primary breadwinner for our family and that rests heavily on him, I know. Although I do work part time, I do not have the amount of work stress he does. Of course, he is also helping with some household things and dad things, too.
However, when it comes to "the daily grind" of running a household and a family, it's mostly on me. I'm the one making the appointments, planning the menus, cleaning the house, doing the shopping, and trying to figure out how to get everyone where they need to be. When school's in, you can add to the list filling out all the forms, sending all the emails, washing the uniforms, making sure the homework gets done, and even more scheduling and transportation logistics. Did I mention I have job outside the home as well??
For us, it's not like one day after we had kids we sat down and said, "Here's a list of all HIS responsibilities and here's a list of HERS." It just happened this way. Partly because his work requires a lot of travel, but mostly just because this is the way it is. It's the same in most (but not all) of the families I know. The moms are the ones juggling all (or at least most of) the balls. And, it's exhausting.
So, yes, occasionally I drop a ball or two. Sometimes it's the ball with the appointment I forgot or the friend I’ve been meaning to call. Sometimes, it's the house cleaning ball or the ball with the instructions for that diet I meant to try. It might be an email I forgot to send, a blog post I never found time to write, or a book that took me way too long to finish. Often, it's laundry that didn't get folded or crumbs that didn't get mopped up. And, yes, quite frequently it's that damn dishwasher ball that gets clumsily fumbled.
I'm not perfect and I’m not trying to be. I got over that a long time ago. I am, however, trying my best to keep juggling all these balls and make sure that at least the most important ones don’t get dropped. The dishwasher ball?? Well, I figure those dishes will still be dirty tomorrow, so I’m not going to worry about hat one too much. 😜 I'll just have to pick up that ball and try again.