Whispers Running Through My Mind

This week, I sat down with the word prompts for today's post and waited for that elusive muse to come whisper inspiration in my ear, but I think she was on vacation. That left me with the following thoughts that I'm sharing in this "stream of consciousness" post. This is me thinking out loud.

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There are whispers of fall in the air. There are back to school ads and school supplies are on sale. Stores are putting out school uniform clothing and, last week, Target had a big display of jeans out in the girls clothing department. My girls' summer reading assignment deadlines loom heavy. Four more weeks until our alarm clocks shatter the summer routine of sleeping in.

Summers always seem to go by so fast, but this one in particular has simply flown by at light speed. Soon it will be done and I'm not ready.

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This time of year, I always hear whispers of the past. My oldest, youngest, and husband all have birthdays in the first 11 days of August. As my girls get older, I can't help but look back on the past. I remember birthdays that seem so long ago but also as if they happened just yesterday. I love watching them grow, but I miss the days when they were little.

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As those birthdays roll around, the past whispers in one ear and the future whispers in the other. My oldest will officially become a teenager in less than two weeks. She's been talking a lot lately about "when I get my driver's license" and reminded me that in just a year and a half, it will be time for her to start drivers' education classes. I am so incredibly NOT ready. 

My youngest will start third grade next month. Third grade?? That seems so old, but she still seems so little in many ways. She is my snuggler; my hugger. Rarely does she pass me without stopping for a hug or to plant a little kiss on my cheek. She will start third grade, but there are still hints of "my baby" in her.

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There are whispers of change that are beginning to get louder as my two youngest prepare to start a new school next month. It's a decision we made in the spring and have been anticipating for months. As reality approaches, though, one is excited; the other apprehensive. It will require many adjustments - new friends, new teachers, more travel time. I hope we made the right decision. I hope they will be happy there. I hope I will be happy there. 

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What whispers are running through your mind today?

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This post was part of the One Word Blog Linkup hosted by, Janine of Confessions of a Mommyaholic and me! This week, the word prompt choices were Blessing and Absurd. If you would like to join the linkup you can find more information HERE, sign up for weekly emails HERE, and/or join our Facebook group HERE. Every Friday, two prompts are emailed. Choose one and write a post using that word as inspiration. Linkup up any time between 6:00am EST on Wednesday-9:00pm EST on Thursdays on any of the host sites.

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12 Things That Have Surprised Me (Us) About Parenthood

For this week's Tuesday Ten, we got a little wiggle room with our topic. We asked everyone to fill in the blank for "10 Things That Have Surprised Me About __________." I knew right away that I wanted to put "parenthood" in that blank, but when the time came to write my list, I came up empty. I pondered changing to marriage, being a stay at home mom, and having daughters, but nothing seemed quite right. So, I went to Facebook and asked my friends to tell me about the one thing that has surprised them most about being a parent. They did not disappoint me!! I got responses from "veteran" moms as well as moms with children much younger than mine. They all had some great answers and I couldn't agree more. In fact, their answers were so good, I couldn't just stop at 10!

1. How well we can function on so little sleep. (from Towa)
2. How hard it is to balance everything - career vs. staying at home. You really can't have it all. (from Rebecca)
3. What an emotional roller coaster it is. One minute they make you so angry and frustrated, but the next minute you are hugging them and praying for them because you love them so much. (from Amy and Lisa)
4. How many thing we cannot control. (from Angela)
5. How messy it is. (from David J. - kind of)
6. The number of times we had to change our perspective on all the things we said we would never do as parents. (from Leah) 
7. How we overcome our own fears for the sake of their protection and betterment. (from Kenya)
8. How harshly our parenting is judged by others. (from C Lee)
9. How fast it goes. People tell you that, but you don't really understand until you are a parent yourself. (from Kathy)
   You don't really understand until you are a parent yourself. #TuesdayTen @TheGoldenSpoons
10. How readily and fiercely we fight for them when we need to - even when that's not usually in our nature. (from Margaret)
11. The way in which we lost friends but also gained new ones when we became parents and how much we (sometimes) miss our "old" life. (from Jeannette and NJ)
12. How intensely we feel it too when they are hurt, sick, scared,or sad. (from Becki and Kathryn)

And, one final thought from me: How intensely you can love another human being. Of course, I love my parents, my brother, my friends, my husband. Having a child, however, is a different kind of love from anything I have ever known and something I don't think anyone can truly understand until you have felt it yourself. 

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Come link up again next Tuesday, August 4 and tell us about 10 trends form the past you would like to see make a comeback (or not!).

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I Will Always Cheer Them On

I am almost forty years old and I can’t swim. My parents are not swimmers, so, when I was growing up, we didn’t spend summer days hanging out at the community pool and I always cringed when I received an invitation to a birthday pool party. Their fear of the water became my fear of the water.

Ironically, though, I married a guy who grew up with a pool in his backyard and he swims like a fish. When we were dating, he tried to teach me to swim and I even took lessons at the YMCA, but my phobia won and I never completely learned. 

In an even more ridiculous twist of fate, “that guy” and I now live with our three daughters in the same house where he was raised and with the same pool in what is now our backyard. Over the years, I have become more comfortable in the water and, occasionally, I even venture into the deep end with a pool noodle tucked snuggly under my arms. I doggie paddle a bit, but still, I am definitely not what anyone would call a good swimmer.

Yet, I have spent hours sitting by the pool watching my girls (accompanied by someone who can swim) splash in the shallow end, play Marco Polo, and, eventually, conquer the deep end and the diving board. Despite my own insecurities, I have repeatedly encouraged them to go down the slide, encouraged them to jump in, and cheered for them after they did it because I don’t want them to inherit my fear. I want something better for them. 

That is the paradox of parenting, isn’t it?

Like most parents, I want to give my kids something more than I had myself. It’s not that I had a bad childhood - quite the contrary. My childhood was wonderful and full of love. Still, I want to give my daughters a bigger, brighter future. I want them to have success beyond their wildest dreams. I want them to be happier than anyone could imagine. I want them to learn things I didn’t learn and experience things I have never experienced. I want to give them the confidence to take on any challenge and conquer it triumphantly. Often, that means I have to stifle my own uneasiness and let them do the things that terrify me the most.

I held my breath as they took their first steps, but I let go so they could do it on their own.

Though I was nervous, I let them walk into kindergarten on their own and I let them go on the class trip without me. 

I encouraged them to try out for the team although I was scared they would be heartbroken.

I let them jump off the diving board knowing that, if the unthinkable happened, I couldn't save them myself.

Eventually, I will let them get behind the wheel and drive away alone. The only thing more frightening than that, is the anticipation of someday watching them walk down the aisle into someone else’s arms. 

I know, though, that if I want them to learn how to swim, I have to let them dive in. So, I will hold my breath, pretend I’m not scared, and always cheer them on. 

Tweet This: If I want them to learn to swim, I have to let them dive in & pretend I'm not scared. http://bit.ly/1IixErP @JanineHuldie @TheGoldenSpoons

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This post was part of the One Word Blog Linkup hosted by, Janine of Confessions of a Mommyholic and me! This week, the word prompt choices were Blessing and Absurd. If you would like to join the linkup you can find more information HERE, sign up for weekly emails HERE, and/or join our Facebook group HERE. Every Friday, two prompts are emailed. Choose one and write a post using that word as inspiration. Linkup up any time between 6:00am EST on Wednesday-9:00pm EST on Thursdays on any of the host sites.

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If Calories Didn't Count . . . .

Last week, I posted this status on my Facebook Page:

As the Chief Director of Operations in my house, it seems that the majority of the menu decisions are up to me. During the school year, I pack the kids' lunches every day and I usually cook supper for my family at least 4-5 times a week. I do all the menu planning and grocery shopping. When we are out of ice cream or bacon it's always my fault (although I eat neither) and multiple times a day I am asked, "What's for breakfast/lunch/dinner?" It seems that a lot of my life revolves around food and feeding my brood. It can be overwhelming and frustrating and, sometimes, I wish food wasn't such a necessity.

On the other hand, I love food because, well, it tastes good. When meals are delicious, they are worth the trouble, right? It's possible that I love food a little too much. In last week's linkup, we talked about our bodies and a couple linkers, including me, admitted they would very much like to lose a few pounds. However, I find dieting extremely difficult because I am constantly surrounded by food and my willpower quickly diminishes. 

What if, however, there were no calories?? What if vitamins and minerals didn't matter? What if we could eat anything we wanted whenever we wanted and never gain an ounce? Wouldn't that be lovely? 

That's what I'm pondering today in honor of National Junk Food Day. If I could eat anything and never be concerned about nutrition, these ten foods would be top on my list! 

1. Pizza - I love pizza and, if asked to name my favorite food, this would probably be it. Even though we seem to eat it a lot, I almost never get tired of it. Plus, you can easily change it up. Ever had BBQ chicken pizza?
2. Pasta - Spaghetti, lasagna, macaroni and cheese - who doesn't love pasta? It's also a very quick and easy dinner.
3. Mexican Food - This is another one that is an easy family pleaser which is great because tacos, quesadillas, and queso make me happy, too! 
4. Chocolate - When I look at a dessert menu, I always go for the chocolate option - because there is ALWAYS a chocolate option.
5. Cheesecake - If there is not a chocolate option, cheesecake would be my second choice and it is very versatile as well. 
6. Chicken - When we were first married, my husband once told me he was going to start growing feathers and clucking if I kept fixing so much chicken! These days, I try to add a little more variety, but chicken is still my "go-to" protein.
7. Steak - But not just any steak - it would have to be filet mignon. I don't eat it often, but it is surely yummy when I do! 
8. Potatoes - This counts as a vegetable, right? Baked potatoes smothered with cheese, French Fries, hash browns - yum! And, I could easily crunch my way through an entire bag of potato chips on one sitting! 
9. Bread - I know, I know - carbs are bad, but bread is so good! A warm yeast roll, some buttery garlic bread (with the aforementioned pasta, of course), or some Southern biscuits with jelly - relish!!!!
10. Sodas - O.K. this isn't technically food, but I try to avoid the "empty calories" of soda and I don't like the artificially sweet diets ones. However, if I didn't have to worry about the calories and the sugar . . . . . . 

Now, if you'll excuse me, I think I'm going to go grab a snack! 

What foods would you stockpile of you didn't have to worry about the nutrition label?

Your Tuesday Ten hostesses are:

We hope you have enjoyed our #TuesdayTen lists! If so, please link up one of your own and share your post using #TuesdayTen!
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3) Visit your hosts and follow them on social media.
4) Visit as many other linked posts as you can and show those bloggers some love by commenting and/or sharing.
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Come link up again next Tuesday, July 28 and tell us 10 things that have surprised you about {you fill in the blank}!

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20 Ways Being a Mom Changes Your Perspective

I have a vivid memory of walking through a busy mall with my husband about 20 years ago. We didn't yet have children of our own, but I had plenty to say about mothers I saw back then. This day in particular, we passed a mom with a screaming toddler on her hip and a stroller full of bags. I remarked to my husband how ridiculous that was. "Why doesn't she put the kid in the stroller? That's what it's for isn't it? Carrying the kid and strolling the bags is stupid!"

Well, I am now the mom of three daughters. My oldest will be 13 next month and, suffice it to say, in the past 13 years I have worn the same shoes that mom was wearing more times than I care to count. In fact, motherhood has changed my perspective on many things, including the proper use of a stroller. 

When you become a parent . . . . .

1. You don't come first anymore. Ever.
2. You become hyper aware of safety hazards.
3. You gain a new appreciation for sleep.
4. Your perception of the time-space continuum is thrown completely out of whack because days seem to go so slowly but years go by so fast!
5. You become intensely aware of and concerned about the bodily functions of someone other than yourself.
6. You realize you are stronger than you ever knew you were.
7. The word "fun" takes on a whole new definition.
8. You realize the importance of both adhering to a schedule and just going with the flow. 
9. You don't just drink coffee anymore. You need coffee. And wine.
10. You stop judging other parents.
11. You have to become the mature one in the relationship whether you want to or not.
12. You develop a new appreciation for the sound of silence; blissful, amazing silence.
13. A "quiet Saturday night at home" sounds fabulous rather than boring.
14. You worry about the future more than you worry about the past.
15. You learn the true definition of multi-tasking.
16. Being late becomes completely acceptable.
17. Food takes on a whole new level of necessity and frustration.
18. You remember how to see the world through the eyes of a child.
19. You gain a new and deep appreciation for your own parents.
20. You realize you have the capacity to love another human being more immensely than you ever thought possible.

If you're a parent, how has it changed your perspective? What other life events have changed the way you look at things?

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This post was part of the One Word Blog Linkup hosted by, Janine of Confessions of a Mommyholic, Marica of Blogitudes, and me! This week, the word prompt choices were Blessing and Absurd. If you would like to join the linkup you can find more information HERE, sign up for weekly emails HERE, and/or join our Facebook group HERE. Every Friday, two prompts are emailed. Choose one and write a post using that word as inspiration. Linkup up any time between 6:00am EST on Wednesday-9:00pm EST on Thursdays on any of the host sites.

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10 Ways "Society" is Destroying my Daughters' Body Image

I have three daughters who are currently 7(almost 8), 10, and 12 (almost 13). Even at these tender ages, all of them have voiced various complaints about their bodies. My youngest doesn't like her freckles. My middle despises her dry skin. My oldest would love for her naturally curly hair to magically become straight. The thing that bothers me the most, though, is that they have ALL, at some point, criticized themselves for being fat. I can assure you, however that none of them are at all overweight. They are all within in perfectly normal size ranges for their age and, one in particular, I would even say is skinny. Yet, the "I'm fat" and the "I need to be thinner" has somehow seeped in. 

It worries me because I am concerned about the way they will perceive themselves as they grow up. I, of course, think they are perfect and beautiful. I want them to feel that way, too. How is it, then, that these self critical thoughts have found their way into the minds of my daughters? 

This is a question I ask myself often and, since we are focusing on our bodies for today's Tuesday Ten in honor of National Nude Day, I decided to take the opportunity to do a little reflecting and researching on the subject. What resulted was the following Ten Ways that Society is Destroying My Daughters' Body Image.

1. The media glamorizes the unrealistic. According to one fact I read, 72% of women in the US wear a size 12 or above. However, designers typically refuse to include any models larger than a size 4 in their runway shows. If they want "real" women to buy their clothes, why don't they show "real" women wearing them? 
2. We are bombarded with weight loss strategies. Even a woman who is "skinny" can be convinced that she needs to try the latest diet fad just by standing in the grocery check out line for a few minutes and reading the most recent magazine covers. We are constantly bombarded with "miracle solutions melt the excess pounds" even if we don't have any excess pounds that need to be shed. We need to focus on being healthy; not being skinny.
3. We see celebrities chastised for gaining weight. In March, Kelly Clarkson was unmercifully "fat-shamed" on Twitter after an appearance on a late night TV show. A British TV personality tweeted that she was happy to have a wide screen! That is just one example of a celebrity who has come under fire for a figure that is deemed less than stellar. If you are a "regular woman" like me (non-celebrity, that is), it is likely to leave you wondering what "people" would say about you and your own physique.
4. On the contrary, celebrities are celebrated for losing weight. While doing research, I saw two articles praising Jessica Biel and Carrie Underwood for their amazing bodies just months after giving birth. It makes us feel like we should do the same and anything less remarkable is unacceptable. 
5. "Larger" celebrities are hailed as heroic and brave. If you begin running through a list of famous females in your mind, I bet the vast majority of them are "thin." There are a few, however, who have managed to find stardom despite being a bigger size. Those women are touted as courageous and bold; daring to break the mold. Why is it gallant to be average? Because, we are led to believe that slender is superior.
6. The term "plus size" is used to describe average. As I mentioned earlier, the average woman in the US is a size 12-14. Yet, a size 14 is also considered by many to be a "plus size."  Lane Bryant, is a retailer that sells "fashionable, plus size clothing for women." They carry sizes 14-28. Therefore, those of us who fall in the category of "average" are told repeatedly that were are to big to fit into "regular" size clothes. 
7. The recent convention of using the BMI is not congruent with actuality. BMI stands for the body mass index and is a method of measurement that has become popular in the last few years. I consider myself average and typically fall within the size 12-14 range. However, when I plug my stats into this BMI calculator, it tells me that I fall firmly within the overweight category. In fact, I would have to drop over 15 pounds to get down to the normal range. Basically, I have to be 15 pounds lighter and approximately 1-2 dress sizes smaller than average to not be overweight. That doesn't' seem to make much sense to me. 
8. There is no standardized method of sizing women's clothes. What do I mean by that? Well, men can go buy pants with a 32 inch waist for example. The pants may vary by style (pleated vs. non-pleated, etc.) but thirty-two inches is thirty-two inches. That doesn't hold true in women's clothing. I might be able to wear a size 12 in one brand, but, for a similar style in another brand, I may need a 14 or even be able to fit into a 10. I've said here that the average woman is a size 14, but what constitutes a size 14 vs. a size 10 or a size 20?? Without these standards, clothing sizes have also changed. According to one WebMd article I read, what would have been considered a size 4 in the 1950s would now be considered a size 8. 
9. Clothes are skimpier than ever. Plain and simple, women are showing more of their bodies these days. My mother has told me stories about being required to wear skirts when she was in college. Now, college girls are wearing short shorts and spaghetti strap tank tops to class. Just look at the difference in bathing suits!

   

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   When I buy my 12 year old shorts to wear to school, they have to pass the finger test - with hands straight down by her sides, shorts must be longer than her fingertips - and, honestly, it is difficult to find shorts that long. The clothes women are offered nowadays are shorter, tighter, and generally reveal more skin than ever before. Therefore, perceived flaws are harder to hide and more difficult to overlook.
10. The final item on my list is ME. There are times when I have been very honest about my own struggles with body image and other times when I've tried to keep it under wraps (by posting anonymously - until now!). The truth is, it's a struggle for me. It always has been. I have caved in under the pressure of all the other things on this list and I wear my self deprecation like an invisible dumbbell tied around my neck. I frequently fat-shame the woman in the mirror and I can count on one hand the times I have really, truly felt pretty in my 38 years of life. However, I am trying so, so hard not to pass that on to my girls. I'm trying not to be part of the problem by learning to accept myself and the body I have been given. I am attempting to remember that it is this body which gave me my girls in the first place. I want my daughters to grow up knowing that they are beautiful, but also that they are so much more than what is on the outside. The best way to teach them that is to show them that. I'm trying. I'm a work in progress and some days are definitely better than others. Two steps forward and one step back. 

I can't change what our culture has become and I can't stop the endless media barrage of messages trying to convince us that average is not good enough. Truthfully, I wrote this post for me AND for my girls, because, really, that is all I can control. I will continue to work on my own discontent and I will keep doing my best to make sure my daughters receive the right message about their bodies. Hopefully, in the end, we can all embrace these words:

Your Tuesday Ten hostesses are:

We hope you have enjoyed our #TuesdayTen lists! If so, please link up one of your own and share your post using #TuesdayTen!
RULES:
1) Link up a post, old or new, pertaining to the TuesdayTen topic for this week and add our TuesdayTen button to your post or sidebar.
2) Please do not link up contests, product reviews, or sponsored posts. Links not pertaining to the topic will be removed at the hosts' discretion.
3) Visit your hosts and follow them on social media.
4) Visit as many other linked posts as you can and show those bloggers some love by commenting and/or sharing.
If you would like to be added to the mailing list without linking up, click here.

Come link up again next Tuesday, July 24. It's National Junk Food Day, so we'll be sharing a list of the foods that would fill our pantries, refrigerators, and stomachs if calories and nutrition didn't matter! 

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