The Scariest Things About Motherhood

When you hear someone say"Motherhood" what are some of the first words that pop into your mind ??

Children?  Of course.

Love?  Yes. It's a beautiful thing.

Snuggles?  Oh, those are nice aren't they?

Protectiveness?  Yes.  Mothers are fiercely protective of their offspring.

What about scary?  No??

Maybe horror??  Not on the top of your list?

While motherhood is wonderful and beautiful and all of those pleasant things, any mom will tell you that it can also be super scary.  Most moms have at least a few horror stories to share as well.

In honor of Halloween, here is my list of the scariest things about Motherhood:

1.  Labor and Delivery - Pain, screaming, crying, uncertainty - It's frightening!

2.  The Unknown - I like things to be predictable and scheduled.  That's not possible in parenting.  From the moment you conceive, there are millions of things that could go wrong.  As they grow, they can get sick or hurt or lost.  The "what ifs" will drive you mad if you let them!

3.  Toys - Sometimes I think the toys are taking over my house like aliens invading the planet.  Have you sever stepped on a Lego while barefoot??  Have you ever tried to get play dough out of carpet? Have you ever seen Chucky??  

4.  Bodily Fluids - Motherhood is full of poop, urine, vomit, snot, and occasionally blood.  It's gross.

5.  Traveling - Have you ever taken a road trip with a kids?  There is usually screaming, arguing, whining, crying, and, frequently, some of those bodily fluids I alluded to above.  Terrifying.

6.  Public Opinion - No matter what you do as a mom, someone will always find fault with it.  Breast vs. bottle; Stay at home vs. working; co-sleeping vs. sleep training; spanking vs. time-out - the list goes on and on.  If we let the advice of others get under our skin, it can be very scary!

7.  Sleep deprivation - This is a classic.  From newborns to sick school age kids to waiting up for teenagers to get home - moms are regularly sacrificing sleep to care for their minions.  This can turn moms into very creepy Mommy Zombies.  

8.  Money - Kids are expensive - period.  That means that finances can often get rather tight.  It can feel like you are suffocating under a mountain of "I need this" and "I want that."  Money - or lack thereof - can induce panic attacks of epic proportion.

9.  Raising teenagers - Mine aren't teenagers yet, but I'm already scared.  Psychotic mood swings, late night prowling, and knock-down drag-out fights are all part of the package.  (Or so I've been told!)

10.  Meltdowns - With all of the above, meltdowns are inevitable.  Kids have tantrums.  Moms lose control.  Even dads can freak out from time to time.  There may not be menacing music playing in the background to foreshadow the danger, but you can still see it coming.  When you do, RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!!!! 

Are you convinced, now, that motherhood can be scary?? Yes? No?

Well, either way, you need to check out this book!

In it, thirty moms, including me, are sharing some of our most horrifying tales from the trenches of motherhood.  There are tales of labor pains gone awry, terrifying unknowns, and toys that led to disaster.  It has poop sagas and traveling nightmares.  There are debacles borne form unsolicited public input and sleep deprivation tragedies.  Finally, you will find finance fiascos and teenager terror.  If you like a good scare (or a good laugh; or a good cry) this book is for you! 

Trust me, it's VERY SCARY!!  (And, funny, emotional, moving, happy, etc.) 

Get your copy today!

Available through AMAZON or BARNES & NOBLE.

Twitter: @MOAMtheBook

Google+: http://bit.ly/1brepxG

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/themotherofallmeltdowns

Pinterest: http://www.pinterest.com/wikicrystal/the-mother-of-all-meltdowns

See a list of all contributing authors and read even more meltdown madness on the blog at the official Mother of all Meltdowns website:

 http://themotherofallmeltdowns.com/

For even more scary motherhood mayhem, head over to my friend Janine's blog and read about some real horror stories our Mother Of All Meltdowns fans shared!

Happy Halloween!!

Tuesday Ten - Q and A with Megan

A couple of weeks ago, I interviewed my youngest, Emily.  I asked her ten questions and gave you her answers.  My middle daughter, Megan, sat in on that interview and was eager to be interviewed herself.  So, for today's Tuesday Ten, here's my interview with my favorite almost nine year old.

<a href="http://www.the-golden-spoons.com" target="_blank"><img alt="The Golden Spoons" src="http://i1291.photobucket.com/albums/b552/lspoon1/smallTuesdayTenjpeg_zpsad8292e4.jpg"/></a>

1. What is you favorite season and why?

Winter because my birthday is in it!

2. What is your favorite thing to do in school?

Math!  (Clear evidence that at least half of her genes DO NOT come from me!)

3. What is your favorite thing to do when you're at home?

Play school.

4. If you did all the cooking, what would we have for supper tonight?

Ice cream and candy and brownies!  That would be awesome!

5. If you could change one thing about the world, what would it be?

I would make it not rain on important days or days when I am supposed to have a soccer game! 

6. What is your favorite book or story?

The "I Survived" series.

7. Tell me a couple things you want for Christmas and your December birthday this year.

A pony!  A kid's iPad.  That's all I can think of right now.

8. If you could have one superpower what would it be and what would you do?

Invisibility because it would be cool if I could see what everyone was doing but they couldn't see me.

9. Do you like your name "Megan?"  If you could change it, what name would you give yourself?

Yes I like my name.  If I could change it, I would leave it as Megan. 

10. Do you have a joke you can tell me?

Why was the Bacon laughing?   Because the egg cracked a yolk!

There you go - a glimpse into the mind of my super energetic Mego Lego!

(Think there's any chance at all I will be able to get my eleven year old to do an interview???  Yeah, me neither!)

Great Lengths

One Halloween I went to great lengths to get my daughter the out of the ordinary costume she wanted.

It was Halloween 2005 and my oldest daughter was three.  It was the first time she was really able to understand the concept of the "holiday," decide for herself what costume she wanted, and articulate those wishes.

The first time someone asked her in that sing-song voice people often use to speak to children, "And what are you going to be for Halloween?" she responded clearly and emphatically.  "A frog," she answered.  

I really have no clue where she got the idea.  Perhaps it was a precursor to her love of animals that is so very prevalent now.  Perhaps it was just something she had seen on TV or read in a book.  I was certain, however, that when the question was asked again, she would reply with some new, imaginative answer.  I was wrong.

For at least two weeks, she gave the same answer every time someone asked the question.  She obviously had her heart set on dressing up as a frog for Halloween.  I was impressed by her commitment and imagination.  Since my degree was in child development, I analyzed her thought processes and dissected her communication skills.   I was one proud mama and I was determined that she would have that frog costume.

(I should interject here that I am NOT crafty at all.  If a frog costume was to be had, it would have to be purchased - not creatively made by me.  I should also state that, as a young mother, I had no idea how ridiculously difficult it would be to find a stinking frog costume!!!)

We were living in Nashville at the time and, over the course of the next week or so, we scoured the city for the elusive costume.  I searched online.  Then, we visited store after store after store.  Finally, we found an adorable frog costume and happily (well, a little begrudgingly but mostly happily)  shelled out a whopping $50 for it.

Was it worth it??  You be the judge.

I think she made just about the cutest little froggy anyone has ever seen.  (Yes, I am a bit biased, I know.)  After all that searching, her little sister got stuck with the hand-me-down, generic, fuzzy jack-o-lantern costume, but she was pretty dang cute, too, huh??

That little frog is now an eleven year old vegetarian who loves animals immensely and plans to be a zoologist when she grows up.  

Back then, I/we went to great lengths to find the perfect costume and make our little girl happy.  As I've traveled through motherhood, I've realized that I cannot always make them happy.  Sometimes, what is best for them is not what makes them happy (or what they think will make them happy).  However, I will always go to great lengths to give them everything they need - physically, emotionally, spiritually, and intellectually.  I will go to great lengths to keep them safe and to teach them what they need to be successful.  I will go to great lengths - to the end of the earth, if necessary - to make sure they know they are loved.  Luckily for me, though, sometimes all it takes is a really cute costume. 

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Just for kicks, here's what they looked like last year.  Obviously, the frog grew up and turned into a witch who highly dislikes having her picture taken.  The little pumpkin turned into a butterfly and we added a princess to the family, too! :-)

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Here's to hoping that you and all of your little trick-or-treaters find just the right costumes this year! 

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This post was written as part of Finish The Sentence Friday  and the prompt was "One Halloween I..."   FTSF is hosted by some wonderful blogging ladies.  Please give them a visit and check out all the other blogs that participate as well!

Janine at Janine’s Confessions of a Mommyaholic

Stephanie at Mommy, for Real

Kate at Can I Get Another Bottle of Whine?

Kristi at Finding Ninee

Most Popular Christmas Toys of 2013

Can you believe that Christmas 2013 is only about two months away?  (63 days to be exact)  Have you started making your lists yet??  Well, I’m trying.  Last year, I wrote a post about the year’s most popular Christmas toys.  It was helpful for me and, hopefully, for my readers as well.  So, I decided to make another list this year of, what are predicted to be, the most popular Christmas toys of 2013.  Are any of these toys on your kid’s Christmas list?  Maybe they are on your Christmas list!  

Did you know that major retailers publish their popular Christmas toy predictions in September?!  As I was doing research to compile this list of popular Christmas toys, I visited the following websites: Walmart, Squidoo,Target, Toys R Us, and Kmart.  Unlike last year, most of these sites had very similar lists.  In fact, the first six on my list made the list on at least four of the five sites I visited.  

(Due to copyright infringement issues, I have not included pictures of the items, but I have linked to manufacturer or retail sites where you can view the items along with more detailed descriptions. Prices listed were according to retailers at the time of this post and may vary depending on retailer of choice and date of purchase.)

1.  Furby Boom - the Furby experienced a resurgence of popularity last year.  The Furby Boom is "a whole new generation of Furby critters."  Interacting with your Furby Boom shapes its personality.  Now, there is even an app you can download in which you can take care of your Furby, translate Furbish, and hatch virtual Furblings.  (The app is compatible with iOS 5.0 or later.) (Recommended for ages 6 and up; $59.00)

2.  Big Hugs Elmo  - Give Elmo a hug, and he will hug you back!  He also sings, talks, and plays games with your child. (Recommended for ages 15 months-4 years; $49.00)

3.  Doc McStuffins Get Better Check Up Center - This toy doctor's office comes with a toy Lambie, pretend medical equipment, and stickers so your child can be just like Doc McStuffins!  (This item is made by Just Play and is available at Target, Kmart, ToysRUs, and Walmart) (Recommended for ages 3 and up; $79.99)

4.  Flutterbye Flying Fairies Little girls will love these fairies that actually fly through the air! Launch them from their stand and then guide their flight by simply putting your hand under them. (Recommended for ages 5 and up; $29.99)

5.  Zoomer the Robot Dog - Zoomer is your child's newest pet!  He can wag his tail, do tricks, and respond when you call his name.  There is a free app you can download to learn how to train him, too!  (Recommended for ages 5 and up; $79.99)

6.  FurReal Friends Cuddles the Giggling Pet Monkey - Cuddles responds when you play with her by giggling and making monkey sounds.  Kids can feed her with her banana bottle and change her diaper.  At bedtime, rock her and she will fall asleep! (Recommended for ages 4 and up; $59.00)

7.  Sofia the First Royal Talking Enchanted Vanity - Sofia is Disney's newest princess and she is wildly popular with little girls.  This vanity plays six princess lessons.  It also includes beauty accessories and a jewelry box.  (Recommended for ages 3 and up; $79.99)  {There are also Sofia dolls, dress up clothes, and other toys that might be great alternatives!} 

8.  LeapPad Ultra - The latest version of this toy comes with 11 pre-installed apps and hundreds more are available.  It also has built in Wi-Fi capabilities, camera, and video recorder.  (Recommended for ages 4-9; $150.00)

9.  Legos - Legend of the Chima - I have girls, so I am not too familiar with these, but apparently most boys are!  There several different Legends of Chima Lego sets ranging in difficulty, age level and price.

10.  Nerf Rebelle Heartbreaker Bow Blaster  - Now, girls can be just like Catniss with this Nerf Bow that comes with 5 darts. (Recommended for ages 8 and up; $19.99)

Honorable mentions:

- Crayola Marker Maker - Kids can mix different colors of ink to create their own marker colors! (Recommended for ages 6 and up; $19.99-$27.99)

- Barbie Digital Makeover Mirror - Your iPad becomes a mirror on this digital vanity.  Kids can apply virtual makeup and watch as facial tracking technology transforms their faces in the "mirror." (Recommended for ages 10 and up; $69.99-79.99)

- Barbie Dream House - This classic continues to make the list.  Girls love this three-story doll house for Barbie and friends! (Recommended for ages 3 and up; $159.00)

- Disney Planes Remote Control Dusty - Your little guy can use the infrared remote control to drive Dusty in all directions.  **Don't be fooled - this toy DOES NOT FLY!  (Recommended for ages 4 and up; $34.99)

What do you think??  WiIl any of these toys be on your son or daughter's list??  Got any other "must-haves" to add?

Sunday Supper - An Easy Marinade

This is my go-to recipe for a quick and easy marinade.  It is awesome on chicken or pork and only takes two ingredients!

Super Easy Marinade

1/2 -1 cup of Italian Dressing

1/4 - 1/2 cup Worcestershire sauce

** I actually never measure this.  I use a ratio that is about 2 parts Italian Dressing to 1 part Worcestershire   You can use more or less depending on your taste and the amount of meat.

Place the meat (3-4 boneless, skinless chicken breasts OR 3-4 boneless pork chops) in a large plastic storage bag.   Pour in the Italian dressing and Worcestershire sauce.

Seal the bag and have your "assistant" shake it up.

Sorry for the terrible lighting int his pic!

Place them in the fridge for 1-6 hours.

Grill or bake as desired.

My hubby - the Grillmaster - sure did make these look fancy, huh? :-)

Godspeed, Sweet Dreams.

6:00 am.  My alarm goes off and I drag myself out of bed.  Throw on some yoga pants and put my hair in a ponytail.  Then, I trudge down the hall.  Lights on.  Coffee on.  Alarm off.  Dog out.

6:30 am.  Time to make the rounds.  I go to them one by one and the whirlwind begins.  We start the routine that should be automatic.  In the sleepy fog of mornings, though, it is not.  Wake up.  Get dressed.  Eat breakfast.  Finish packing the lunches.  Brush your teeth.  Comb your hair.  Collect your things.  Shoes on.  Jacket on.  Out the door.

I deliver them to their schools - two in this direction; one in that direction.

I am back home.  In the silence.

Hours pass much too quickly.  They are at school learning, playing, socializing, learning, learning.  I am doing all the things I need to do.  Dishes, laundry, sweeping, straightening, blogging, running errands.  Maybe walk.  Hopefully shower. 

I blink once.  I blink twice.  It's time to go bring them back home.

I savor the last few moments of calm as I sit in the carpool line.  They jump in the minivan chatting, giggling, arguing, occasionally crying.  "How was your day?"  Tell me more.  I want details.  

We are home briefly.  Then back out to get the third.  "How was your day?"  I want to know everything.

Back home again and the whirlwind resumes.  Snack time.  TV time.  Homework time. They whine.  They argue.  They laugh.  

I am the conductor, directing everyone.  "Do your homework."  "Be nice to your sister."  "Practice your piano."  "Finish your homework."  "Clean up your mess."  "Stop."  "Go." 

In a flash, we are out the door again.  Riding lessons, soccer practice, piano lessons, gymnastics class.  The whirlwind furiously swirls. 

Somewhere in there, I throw supper on the table.  We sit together and talk.  But, hurry.

Finally, bath time.  Pajama time.  Bedtime.

One by one, I make sure they brush their teeth and read their books.  I turn on their night lights.  I hug them.  I kiss them.  I say "Good night, sleep tight."

Their day is done, but mine is not.  There are still lunches to prepare, emails to answer, papers to sign.  I  try to catch up.  Spend time with my husband.  I promise myself I will go to bed early this time.  I don't.

Eventually, I give in to the fatigue.  My day ends just like it began - only in reverse.  Dog in.  Alarm on.  Lights off.

Tiptoeing into each room, I make my rounds one last time.  I adjust their covers.  I turn off the night lights.  I kiss each of their foreheads.  I watch them breathe.  I inhale.  Exhale.  My heart and soul fill with wonder as I watch their slumber and this songs plays in my mind. 

"Godspeed sweet girl.  Sweet dreams precious child.  My love will fly to you each night on angels' wings.  Godspeed, sweet dreams."

They are still.  They are quiet.  They rest serenely.  They look like angels.

This moment is the best part of my day. There is comfort in watching them sleep.  There is peace in hearing them breathe.  We are safe.  We are together.  We are loved - by each other; by God.

The whirlwind of the day melts away and that moment is all that matters.

Godspeed.  Sweet dreams.  Until tomorrow, precious girls, when we will dance again. 

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This post was written as part of Finish The Sentence Friday  and the prompt was "The best part of my day is..."   FTSF is hosted by some wonderful blogging ladies.  Please give them a visit and check out all the other blogs that participate as well!

Janine at Janine’s Confessions of a Mommyaholic

Stephanie at Mommy, for Real

Kate at Can I Get Another Bottle of Whine?

Kristi at Finding Ninee

                _________________________________________________________________

Today is a great day to get your copy of The Mother Of All Meltdowns because it's on sale!!!

You can download it for only $.99 right now!!!!
Or click HERE to share your meltdown story and have a chance to win a paperback copy!

A "Meltdown" Giveaway!

Have you gotten your copy of The Mother of All Meltdowns yet?  If not, what are you waiting for?!? 

Maybe you did and you loved it so much you want another copy to give as a gift?

In either case, you’re in luck because I am giving away a paperback copy to one lucky reader/commenter!!!  (I’ll even sign it if you would like - although it stills feels very weird to say that!)

To make this giveaway extra fun, I have enlisted the help of ten of the other co-contributors of the book.  They are:

• Janine of Janine’s Confessions of a Mommyholic & J9 Designs
• Dana of Kiss My List
• Ginny Marie of Lemon Drop Pie
• Kristi of Finding Ninee
• Michelle of A Dish of Daily Life
• Jennifer of Another Jennifer
• Stephanie of Crayon Marks and Tiger Stripes
• C Lee Reed of Helicopter Mom and Just Plane Dad
• Tamara of Tamara (Like) Camera
• Rachel of Tao of Poop

Here’s how the giveaway will work:

Simply leave a comment here on this blog post telling us the story of your most epic parenting meltdown. My esteemed judges will read all of the comments and submit their vote for the one that is the “Most Epic.”  The comment with the most votes wins!!  Winner will be announced in a blog post on October 23rd. 

-In order to be eligible, comments must be posted by 5:00pm EST on Monday, October 21st.

-I will not be voting.  Winner will be chosen solely by my judges.

-Please be sure to include some form of contact information so that I can get in touch with you if you win!

-Winner will be announced in a blog post on Wednesday, October 23rd.  Winner will have 48 hours to respond!

So start commenting!!  I can't wait to read YOUR stories of epic parenting pandemonium!!

Remember you can follow us on:

Twitter: @MOAMtheBook

Google+: http://bit.ly/1brepxG

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/themotherofallmeltdowns

Pinterest: http://www.pinterest.com/wikicrystal/the-mother-of-all-meltdowns

See a list of all contributing authors and read even more meltdown madness on the blog at the official Mother of all Meltdowns website:

 http://themotherofallmeltdowns.com/

What I Learned At Bloggy Boot Camp Minneapolis

Over the weekend, I had the privilege of attending the SITS Girls' Bloggy Boot Camp in Minneapolis.   (Yes, Minneapolis is over 1,000 miles away from NC.  Long story.)  It was my first blog conference ever and I really had no idea what to expect.  I was hoping for some networking and some good information.  I definitely got all that and much more!!

The networking was fabulous.  I met many bloggers from many different niches.  Some of them, I had never heard of.  Some of them I had heard of, but wasn't too familiar with them.  A couple were people I consider "blog friends" but had never met in real life.  I met Sarah Ruddell Beach from Left Brain Buddha.  I also met a newer blog friend, Jodi Flaherty, of The Noise of Boys.  It was so wonderful to talk with others about Facebook stats, commenting platforms, meme generators, and other "bloggy" stuff and know that they understood! :-)

Aside from the networking, there was what I can only describe as a plethora of information.  In my own effort to sift through the overabundance of data, I tried to pinpoint the top ten things that I could use.  I quickly realized there was no way I could narrow it down to ten, but I have managed to filter out my top fifteen.  I assure you this is only scratching the surface, though.  Hopefully, these are tips that will help others as well.

(For my loyal friends and family who read, most of this probably won't make much sense to you.  For that, I'm sorry!  Don't leave, though!  Skip to the bottom and read the quotes!)

1. Video is the next big thing in blogging.  YouTube (which is owned by Google) is the second largest search engine.  Only Google, itself, gets more hits per day.  If you want to take your blog to "the next level," especially working with brands, then you need to get comfortable with video. (For the record, I'm NOT comfortable with video!)
2. Instagram has 130 million users and those users post 40 million photos per day.  It is a great tool to enhance your social media presence.  However, you cannot include a clickable link to your blog, so it is important to include your url in your profile.
3. Pinterest is now providing more referral traffic than any other social media outlet.  If you are using Pinterest, make sure you become a business and verify your account!  (Something that is now on my "to do" list.)
4. When using Pinterest, make sure you are clicking all the way through to the original post.  Otherwise, the original blogger/poster is not getting the credit they deserve.
5. Pinterest is a great tool to create some portfolio boards.  For example, you can pin all of YOUR recipes posts to one board.  You have an automatic "portfolio" to share.
6. Google+ is a great social media tool that, basically, helps to make Google like you better.  However, you should apply for authorship (https://plus.google.com/authorship) - also something on my to do list.  (When you do a Google search, you know how some results have that little thumbnail picture of the person??  That person has applied for authorship which is why their picture pops up.)
7. Your Google+ cover is just as important as your FB cover and a great way to grab readers' attention.  Create a cover using something like Picmonkey and include your url.  (Google+ covers are 2120x1192 pixels.)
8. Protect you site.  Whatever your platform, take measure to back up and protect your site.  If you are ever hacked, you will be so thankful you did this.
9. Get your stuff out there, but do not assume that getting a post on a big site (HuffPost, Scary Mommy, etc.) will give you instant fame and fortune.  Chances are it won't.  (I learned this a while back, but was glad to have others validate ti and realize it wasn't just me!)
10. Facebook penalizes you for posting more that one link a day.  A good strategy around this, include the link to your post in the status once.  Then, post again later, including the link in the first comment instead.
11. Having a regular writing practice is very important.  There is something to be said for writing "when the idea hits," but if you really want to improve your writing, you need regular practice (just like sports.)
12. You don't have to (an probably can't) SEO (Search Engine Optimize) every single post you write.  Pick and choose the ones you really want to get the exposure.
13. With regard to SEO, the title and the first 100 words are extremely important and should contain 3-5 keywords.
14. Use Facebook Analytics/Insights to optimize your FB posting.  Insights will tell you when readers are interacting with your posts and which types of posts are getting the biggest responses.
15. Picmonkey is an awesome tool for creating memes and making post pinnable.  But, save your creations as a .png file - NOT a jpeg.  PNG files will be clearer when transferred.

What to you think??  Are you doing these things??  Pretty mush all of them have been added to my now super long to-do list.  I am trying to pace myself and get them done one at a time!

Finally, here are a few quotes from the conference that were really awesome and inspiring.  I will also say that, if you ever have a chance to go to a Bloggy Boot Camp, you should.  It was definitely worth the time and money!

"What is your ending?"

"Live your life as the woman you want your daughter to become."

"Surround yourself with people who are as excited for your success as you are."

"Stop comparing your outsides to other people's insides."

Got Mayo??

I am a southern girl through and through.  I have lived my whole life in the south - North Carolina and a brief stint in Nashville.  Therefore, it shouldn't be too surprising that I like country music.  I have heard it said, though, that you either love or hate it, so I realize it is something that many folks do not enjoy.

That being said, have you heard Miranda Lambert's latest song?  The title of the song is All Kinds of Kinds.  Part of the song is typical country music with a hefty dose of banjo and twang.  The lyrics, however, are some you might not expect.  She sings about a circus wedding - and actual circus - with an acrobat and Horatio the human cannonball.  She also sings about a congressman with "closets full of skeletons and dresses that he wore on Friday night." What on Earth are those things doing in a country song??  Well,  the basic premise is that it takes all kinds of people to "keep the world spinning."

As I type this, I am sitting in the Atlanta airport piggybacking on my husband's business trip and looking forward to attending my first blog conference on Saturday.  This airport is the busiest airport in the world.  One could sit here for hours just "people watching" and never get bored.  There are people of all races, ages, and ethnicities passing by.  There are children.  There are families and business travelers.  People coming in from other countries and people heading out to all parts of the world.  There are "all kind of kinds" in this airport every single day.

The truth is that, when you are out in public, you just never know what you might see and some of the things we see are  . .well  . .  weird.  We have all probably seen the "People of Wal-Mart" photos.  They, in fact, have an entire website dedicated to sharing pictures of the crazy, weird things people do and wear when out in public.  But, strange public happenings are not limited to Walmart.  

So, what’s the strangest thing I have ever seen someone do in public??  

That’s easy.  It’s been over eleven years and my husband and I still remember it (in fact, we still chuckled as we remembered the story for this post!).  

It was a Saturday morning.  I was largely pregnant with my first child.  My husband and I headed out to the grocery store that morning and stopped at a local fast food place to grab some breakfast.  There was a man in the restaurant who obviously had some mental challenges.  He sat at a table alone, talking to himself rather animatedly.  Everyone tried their best to avert their attention from him, but, eventually, he got up and started walking around trying to strike up conversations with the other restaurant-goers.  It didn’t take long before he made his way over to us, sat down at the table next to us, and started chatting.  He immediately noticed my belly, began commenting on my pregnancy, and asking rather uncomfortable questions.  Then, he proceeded to share details of his girlfriend’s pregnancy and delivery; details that would most definitely qualify as TMI (too much information)!  Then, he did something really, really, strange.  He took several packets of mayonnaise, tore them open, and began to slather them on his hands, arms, and face.  He proclaimed to us that there was no need to buy fancy lotion at the store because mayonnaise was the best moisturizer there was AND it is free - all you have to do is grab a bunch when you go to a fast food restaurant!

Photo Credit

I promise, folks, I am not making this up.  Once, in public, I saw somebody slathering mayonnaise all over himself and touting it as “the best lotion ever!”  He never gave us his name, so my husband and I refer to him as “Mayonnaise Man” and we still giggle anytime we drive by one of those restaurants.

As the song says, “It takes all kinds of kinds!” ;-) 

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This post was written as part of Finish The Sentence Friday  and the prompt was "Once, in public, I saw somebody..."   FTSF is hosted by some wonderful blogging ladies.  Please give them a visit and check out all the other blogs that participate as well!

Janine at Janine’s Confessions of a Mommyaholic

Stephanie at Mommy, for Real

Kate at Can I Get Another Bottle of Whine?

Kristi at Finding Ninee

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Want to read about some mothers acting strangely?? None of them have a mayonnaise fetish (as far as I know), but they have done some crazy things!!  Get your copy today for Kindle, Nook, or paperback from amazon or Barnes and Noble.

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Tuesday Ten - Q&A with Emily

Two weeks ago, for my Tuesday Ten, I listed some ideas that might be helpful if you are in a writing slump.  One of the ideas I had found was doing a Q and A with someone.  That gave me some inspiration and I decided to do Q and A with my daughters!  Obviously, that means three different posts!  Yay!!

Today's Tuesday Ten is my "interview" with my youngest, Emily.  She is 6 and in first grade.  She my little princess; the "girlie" one in the family who loves all things pink, sparkly, and fancy!  (You can read more about Emily here and here!)   

1. What is you favorite season and why?

Summer is my favorite season because I don't have to go to school!

2. What is your favorite thing to do in school?

Play with friends and make new friends.

3. What is your favorite thing to do when you're at home?

Play with Megan.

4. If you did all the cooking, what would we have for supper tonight?

Chocolate chip cookies!

5. If you could change one thing about the world, what would it be?

I wish everybody was magical!

6. What is your favorite book or story?

The Kissing Hand.

7. I know you and Megan want to be cowgirls for Halloween this year.  Why did you choose that?

Because I like ponies and I can ride one of our stick ponies and say "Yeehaw!"  And I like to wear cowboy hat and boots!

8. If you could have one superpower what would it be and what would you do?

Super strength!  I would lift up Rachel and Megan and throw them up in the air.

9. Do you like your name "Emily?"  If you could change it, what name would you give yourself?

Yes.  If I gave myself a different name I would name myself Elizabeth.

10. Do you have a joke you can tell me?

Knock, Knock

Who's there?

Spongebob Squarepants.

Spongebob Squarepants who?

AHHHHHH!  Don't clean me!  I'm a sponge!

And there you have it!  My interview with my sweet Emily!  She loved that I was "putting her on my blog" and interviewing her was lots of fun! :-)

<a href="http://www.the-golden-spoons.com" target="_blank"><img alt="The Golden Spoons" src="http://i1291.photobucket.com/albums/b552/lspoon1/smallTuesdayTenjpeg_zpsad8292e4.jpg"/></a>