Thursday, December 4, 2014

The Real Reality of Motherhood

If they made a reality show about my life, it would probably be called "The Real Mom," or something like that. However, I highly doubt it would be really real.

Maybe you can guess from that statement that I'm not a big fan of reality shows mainly because I don't think they are actually real. For example, the one that started it all was "The Real World" on MTV. Do you remember that one? "Seven people picked to live in a house and have their lives taped . . . . "  Who does that??? That's not reality. Now there are so many from "Survivor" to "Big Brother" to "The Bachelor." Again, I think calling them reality shows is a misnomer because there is very little reality in them. We obviously can't see every minute of the time these people spend "on set" and what we do see is what the producers want us to see. They show us the moments of drama, conflict, or romance to hook us and reel us in. They spin it and twist it to make it more interesting. They don't show the boring, mundane moments because nobody wants to watch that! 


If one of those big networks decided to make a show about my life, I bet you would see . . . . 

  • The morning when I overslept and we had to rush so everyone got frustrated. I yelled; kids cried.
  • The red velvet pancakes I made ahead of time and put in the freezer for my youngest daughter who LOVES red velvet. And, of course, the adorable time we spent together in the kitchen baking them on a Sunday afternoon. 
  • The morning everyone was wearing nice outfits and had their hair combed neatly because it was picture day. 
  • The day I went to the gym with a smile on my face and had a great workout. 
  • The day I got everything checked off my to-do list.
  • The day the school called and said my kid was sick and my whole schedule got turned upside down.
  • The day my children got in the car during carpool line happy and laughing telling me what fun they had at school.
  • The day my children got in the car and immediately started yelling at each other and complaining about how awful their day at school was. 
  • The Indian summer afternoon when nobody had homework and we spent an hour out in the yard playing and laughing together. 
  • The homework meltdown my oldest daughter had over math or my middle daughter had over reading. The meltdown I had because of their meltdowns. 
  • The night we made tacos and everyone was happy.
  • The night I tried a new recipe and everything went wrong, so we ended up tossing it and calling for pizza.
  • The night my husband and I had a glass of wine and snuggled on the couch after the kids went to bed. 
They would show you those moments when there was drama, joy, strife, or romance. 

Here's what they wouldn't show you . . . . .  . .

  • The mornings - e.v.e.r.y. morning - when I feed the kids toaster strudels and yogurt laced with m&m's just so they will eat something, anything before I send them out the door. (This is the reason I made the red velvet pancakes - because it's pretty much ALL she will eat.) They also wouldn't show me scurrying around, packing lunches while commanding, "Eat!" "Put your shoes on and comb your hair!" "Hurry! Hurry! Hurry!"
  • The mornings when, apparently, nobody has any clean clothes to wear and I take their complaints as a personal assault because I haven't had time to do laundry. 
  • The day I was planning to go to the gym, but bailed out and sat at home in my yoga pants typing a blog post instead. 
  • The day I got almost everything checked off my list. 
  • The days when my kids get in the car after school and I ask, "Did you have a good day?" and they reply, "Yeah." Then, I have to drag bits and pieces of information out of them to even get a slight glimpse of what their day was like. 
  • The afternoons we spend scurrying between horseback riding lessons, soccer practice, piano lessons, dinner, homework, bath time, and bedtime. 
  • The nights I make dinner and the kids won't touch it or the nights when my husband is out of town and I let them eat spaghettiO's because I don't have the energy to even dial Dominos - again.
  • The nights when my husband and I each sit in our offices working rather than snuggling or the nights when he is across the country on the west coast and the time difference makes it nearly impossible for us to even chat on the phone for a few minutes. 
Those are the things you would never see because those are the mundane, boring parts of life. But, THAT is the real reality of motherhood. My days are not filled with perfectly constructed Pinterest crafts or Facebook post-worthy family outings. They are also not filled with drama and conflict and tears. However, there are moments - moments I wish I could take back because I lost my cool; moments I wish I could freeze forever because they were so filled with love and joy.  The moments are real, but they are not the whole reality. That's just motherhood. That's just life. The highs are higher and the lows are lower because of the flat, simple path that connects them all.  

This post is part of Finish the Sentence Friday hosted by 
Kristi at Finding Ninee
Stephanie at Mommy, For Real

This week's co-hosts are:
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