Thursday, December 4, 2014

The Real Reality of Motherhood

If they made a reality show about my life, it would probably be called "The Real Mom," or something like that. However, I highly doubt it would be really real.

Maybe you can guess from that statement that I'm not a big fan of reality shows mainly because I don't think they are actually real. For example, the one that started it all was "The Real World" on MTV. Do you remember that one? "Seven people picked to live in a house and have their lives taped . . . . "  Who does that??? That's not reality. Now there are so many from "Survivor" to "Big Brother" to "The Bachelor." Again, I think calling them reality shows is a misnomer because there is very little reality in them. We obviously can't see every minute of the time these people spend "on set" and what we do see is what the producers want us to see. They show us the moments of drama, conflict, or romance to hook us and reel us in. They spin it and twist it to make it more interesting. They don't show the boring, mundane moments because nobody wants to watch that! 


If one of those big networks decided to make a show about my life, I bet you would see . . . . 

  • The morning when I overslept and we had to rush so everyone got frustrated. I yelled; kids cried.
  • The red velvet pancakes I made ahead of time and put in the freezer for my youngest daughter who LOVES red velvet. And, of course, the adorable time we spent together in the kitchen baking them on a Sunday afternoon. 
  • The morning everyone was wearing nice outfits and had their hair combed neatly because it was picture day. 
  • The day I went to the gym with a smile on my face and had a great workout. 
  • The day I got everything checked off my to-do list.
  • The day the school called and said my kid was sick and my whole schedule got turned upside down.
  • The day my children got in the car during carpool line happy and laughing telling me what fun they had at school.
  • The day my children got in the car and immediately started yelling at each other and complaining about how awful their day at school was. 
  • The Indian summer afternoon when nobody had homework and we spent an hour out in the yard playing and laughing together. 
  • The homework meltdown my oldest daughter had over math or my middle daughter had over reading. The meltdown I had because of their meltdowns. 
  • The night we made tacos and everyone was happy.
  • The night I tried a new recipe and everything went wrong, so we ended up tossing it and calling for pizza.
  • The night my husband and I had a glass of wine and snuggled on the couch after the kids went to bed. 
They would show you those moments when there was drama, joy, strife, or romance. 

Here's what they wouldn't show you . . . . .  . .

  • The mornings - e.v.e.r.y. morning - when I feed the kids toaster strudels and yogurt laced with m&m's just so they will eat something, anything before I send them out the door. (This is the reason I made the red velvet pancakes - because it's pretty much ALL she will eat.) They also wouldn't show me scurrying around, packing lunches while commanding, "Eat!" "Put your shoes on and comb your hair!" "Hurry! Hurry! Hurry!"
  • The mornings when, apparently, nobody has any clean clothes to wear and I take their complaints as a personal assault because I haven't had time to do laundry. 
  • The day I was planning to go to the gym, but bailed out and sat at home in my yoga pants typing a blog post instead. 
  • The day I got almost everything checked off my list. 
  • The days when my kids get in the car after school and I ask, "Did you have a good day?" and they reply, "Yeah." Then, I have to drag bits and pieces of information out of them to even get a slight glimpse of what their day was like. 
  • The afternoons we spend scurrying between horseback riding lessons, soccer practice, piano lessons, dinner, homework, bath time, and bedtime. 
  • The nights I make dinner and the kids won't touch it or the nights when my husband is out of town and I let them eat spaghettiO's because I don't have the energy to even dial Dominos - again.
  • The nights when my husband and I each sit in our offices working rather than snuggling or the nights when he is across the country on the west coast and the time difference makes it nearly impossible for us to even chat on the phone for a few minutes. 
Those are the things you would never see because those are the mundane, boring parts of life. But, THAT is the real reality of motherhood. My days are not filled with perfectly constructed Pinterest crafts or Facebook post-worthy family outings. They are also not filled with drama and conflict and tears. However, there are moments - moments I wish I could take back because I lost my cool; moments I wish I could freeze forever because they were so filled with love and joy.  The moments are real, but they are not the whole reality. That's just motherhood. That's just life. The highs are higher and the lows are lower because of the flat, simple path that connects them all.  

This post is part of Finish the Sentence Friday hosted by 
Kristi at Finding Ninee
Stephanie at Mommy, For Real

This week's co-hosts are:

26 comments:

Karen said...

Love this...so true. There are crazy and wonderful moments, but the everyday stuff may seem boring, but it builds our foundation for our love and family.

Kerri Ames said...

I wish it was aired. So we wouldn't feel all alone in that feeling of this is what it is? Or knowing that we are not the only one to send our kid to school without brushing their teeth. Oh wait that was me. Just for am moment, though, can you imagine if just for a few episodes it was aired, those moments that show the REALITY of what motherhood is? If they showed it only in health class I can see a dramatic drop in teen pregnancies!

MamaRabia said...

There are a lot of nights when I'm running around yelling "take your clothes off!" and wondering if the neighbors can hear it. I wonder if that would make it on the show?!
PS I'm yelling that at the kids so they will get ready for bed...not at my husband! ;)

Frantic Mama said...

Ah, yes, the real moments of life are so rarely depicted on television. I think the real parts would actually be more interesting in some ways. They would help other moms see that they aren't alone with the countless frozen waffles, the daily morning rush, the messy car. And yet I don't think any of us would want to put that on t.v.! So blogging it is! :)
~Julia

Stephanie Sprenger said...

You are so right, Lisa, and I really loved this post. I personally loved reading the "mundane" behind-the-scenes moments you listed. That's the stuff that weaves us all together, in addition to the joy and meltdowns we all experience as well. This was fantastic!

Tamara Bowman said...

I have to admit that red velvet pancakes sound pretty delicious.
I think there are many mundane moments here. Lest anyone think we all dress up like sci-fi characters and eat cookies all the time. (we do that a lot, though)

Anna Fitfunner said...

So you and I had the same approach to the topic. You, however, did a much better job of writing about it! One of my favorites: "The days when
my kids get in the car after school and I ask, "Did you have a good
day?" and they reply, "Yeah."
'Cause when that happens I go to their backpacks for the note from the Assistant Principal. Usually brevity of child response to "Did you have a good day" is highly correlated with the severity of the crime....

;)

Chris Carter said...

Oh Lisa- you nailed it!! I kept thinking of so many 'scenes' that would play out that are so similar to yours!!! I totally agree- reality shows aren't even CLOSE to reality.

The Dose of Reality said...

I would personally prefer the 2nd version as a viewer, so it is a shame Hollywood doesn't cater to what I want as a reality TV viewer! Perfect description!-Ashley

April @ 100lbcountdown said...

I LOVE reality television (I'm no longer a closet fan), but no, they aren't reality. I also know quite a fre people who work on them and although they aren't scripted, there's a bit of manipulation involved. That said, our mundane lies may be something that people want to see because everyone really feels that others are having the time of their lives while we sit at home watching television (Facebook, anyone?). Everyone seems to have a great life compared to me.

Kelly Mckenzie said...

Yes to all of the above "... what they wouldn't show you!" I would only add the delight of driving along dark rainswept streets and hurling wax paper wrapped stale cheese sandwiches at my two still-wet-hair-from-the-pool children who are strapped in the back whilst barking at them to "pull on your skating pants before you eat this dinner!"

Jill Robbins said...

I hear you about having to drag stuff out of your kids. Mine are only in Pre-K and their standard answers for "what did you do at school" are "I don't know" and "nothing."

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

I watched it, too! Then, I thought it would be fun, but now I think it was crazy!

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

:-) I have never liked Survivor (or any of them). My family wants to go camping and I say, "Why???" Spend the night on the ground with no toilet, no electricity, no real food - WHY????? That does not sound fun to me and Survivor is just camping on steroids! With a bunch of other crazy people.

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

Yep! The boring stuff is what the memories are made of!

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

Ha! A new form of birth control, maybe?? Yeah, I think we all have to remember that moms (and people) are not what we see in Facebook statuses, etc. We're all human.

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

That probably would make the show, but they would edit to to make it seem like you were yelling at you husband!

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

I guess blogging is a pretty good substitution! :-)

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

Thanks, Stephanie!

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

The red velvet was good, but not something I do very often. :-) I think sometimes we forget that other people ar living the same mundane moments we are because all we see on TV or Facebook are the really great moments or the really bad ones.

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

:-) Fortunately, mine don't get int double much, but I just want to know what's happening. I ask things like "Who did you sit with at lunch today?" and they look at me like I'm nuts!

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

Thanks, Chris!

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

Thanks, Ashley! I would watch the REAL reality show, too!

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

Exactly! We usually only see the really good or the really bad - we rarely see the mundane even though that was everyone is really living.

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

Ha! That would be a great addition!

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

Sounds familiar! :-)

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