Wednesday, April 22, 2015

Forgotten, Ridiculous, Elusive - Balance

On Monday, a dear, sweet friend gave me this Lokai bracelet. 
I had never heard of these before, but this is what the website says about them:

"Each lokai is infused with elements from the highest and lowest points on Earth. The bracelet’s white bead carries water from Mt. Everest, and its black bead contains mud from the Dead Sea. These extreme elements are a reminder to the wearer to live a balanced life – staying humble during life’s peaks and hopeful during its lows."
(There's more to the story and you can read about it on the Lokai website.)

Balance. I'm not sure if I ever knew what it felt like to be truly balanced, but, if I ever did, I have certainly forgotten the sensation. Nowadays, it seems that balance is an almost ridiculous aspiration.

We all have countless demands pulling us in so many different directions. We have our kids, our spouses, our jobs, our volunteer obligations. We have homes that need to be cleaned, finances to be figured out, and errands that must be run. We read over and over that "you have to care for yourself before you can care for others," so we guilt ourselves into taking a break. Then, we feel guilty because, while we are taking a break, we aren't spending quality time with our kids or our spouses or doing all of the things that need to crossed off the endless to do list. It is an endless and vicious cycle.

I have always thought of balance as being this sense of stillness and peace; that if I could find that elusive harmony, I would breathe an enormous sigh of relief. Then, as I was pondering this post, I came across this quote:

It occurred to me that, perhaps, balance actually isn't at all about stillness and peace. Maybe it's about continuing to move forward without "falling off." For example, picture a tight rope walker high above the circus floor. As he makes his way across the rope, it is actually the lack of motion that can be detrimental to his balance. In order to keep from falling, he is continually moving, making minor adjustments. He holds his pole and leans ever so slightly left, then right, then back to the left again in order to keep himself from plummeting to the net below.

The same is true of a surfer who waits for the perfect wave, hops atop his board, bends his knees, and spreads his arms to the side. He leans just a bit forward or backward, side to side, hoping he can stay upright all the way to the shore. 

What about a spinning top? As long as the speed of the spin is uninterrupted, the top continues to whirl though it may wobble just a bit. But, if something compromises the speed; if the tops slows down, that's when it crashes. 

Maybe balance isn't all about stillness and peace after all.

In our lives, we have so many responsibilities that pull us in different directions, just like gravity tugs on the tight rope walker, the surfer, and the toy top. We are constantly adjusting our motion to keep ourselves from falling - from failing. We focus on our children until work calls and we began to move in that direction. Then, our spouse needs some time and we move in yet another path. The house is a mess so we let it pull us down that street for a while. We are exhausted, so someone pushes us along yet another avenue toward taking some time for ourselves. Part of the roadmap might include a trail that leads to somewhere calm and quiet, but it is probably not a one way lane. Eventually, we will turn around yet again and head somewhere else. 

It's constant. Reevaluate. Adapt. Change direction. Keep moving. Don't fall.

Maybe Einstein was right. Maybe balance is not found in stillness but in motion -  the moving, the adjusting, the embracing of all the things that keep us going emotionally, creatively, spiritually, intellectually. Perhaps it isn't really calm at all. We are all walking the tightrope of life and maybe the balance we are so desperately seeking has been right in front of us all along.

What do you think? What does "balance" mean to you? 


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This post was part of the One Word Blog Linkup hosted by, Janine of Confessions of a Mommyholic, Marica of Blogitudes, and me! This week, the word prompt choices were Forgotten and RidiculousIf you would like to join the linkup you can find more information HERE, sign up for weekly emails HERE, and/or join our Facebook group HERE. Every Friday, two prompts are emailed. Choose one and write a post using that word as inspiration. Linkup up any time between 6:00am EST on Wednesday-9:00pm EST on Thursdays on any of the host sites.


38 comments:

Janine Huldie said...

Still striving for balance here and still not completely there and honestly not sure I ever will, but still I keep trying 😉

Marcia Shaw Wyatt said...

I love this post, Lisa as it really made me stop and think. Like you, I've always tended to think that balance meant standing still while you try to balance everything you're currently dealing with. It didn't mean taking on more or moving forward. Your insight here is wonderful and you're right. To balance everything, we need to make adjustments where needed, and keep moving. Thank you for sharing your excellent thought on this. Great post! :)

Kenya G. Johnson said...

I said, "Wow" at the spinning top analogy. This is very interesting. I have found that when I want to write the most is when I absolutely don't have time to do it and then I usually do it anyway and just juggle the balls. I may feel tired when so much is going on but it's also when I feel the most energized. Still though, I want to be still and be quiet without feeling like I have to figure out what's next though.

Tricia at Raising Humans said...

I like the idea of balance as something that happens when you keep moving! I've always thought of balance as something that happens in the bigger picture but never on a daily basis (and certainly not in any shorter amount of time!). Basically, if I feel I've kept things balanced over a season or a year, I think I'm doing pretty well :)

MamaRabia said...

This is just the thing I needed to read today. As you know, life is crazy. All I can really do is power through until things settle down a bit. And then they'll be settled for a little while before they amp up again. I know the cycle, I just forget it sometimes when I'm in the middle of things!

Daddy Spoon said...

I think some of the credit for shaping the man I am goes to the Hottie that wrote this blog!!

Tamara Bowman said...

hah.. I love the comment from Daddy Spoon!!
And I love your story. Clearly you were meant to build a life together.

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

Honestly, Janine, I don't think any of us will ever be completely balanced. I think it's a rather unattainable goal. That's why I liked reframing it this way just bit.

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

Agreed! I think when we are the busiest is when life is really happening. It can certainly be exhausting, but that doesn't necessarily mean things aren't balanced.

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

I like that perspective, Tricia! The day may not be balanced, but maybe the week was or the month; the year. Definitely needs to be a bigger picture feeling.

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

The vicious cycle!!! I know it all too well! :-)

Tamara Bowman said...

What a gorgeous bracelet, by the way! Balance is a word on the tip of my tongue a lot. I think it means you're in motion, and nothing is getting pushed too high or too low. It's all a bit steady, or a lot steady.

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

Yes. I like this new idea of balance being motion. If I am trying to achieve a clam, peaceful state, it won't happen until my kids are grown and gone! :-)

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

Ha! :-) I'll take that credit, thank you very much.

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

I think so, too, Tamara!

Kristi - Finding Ninee said...

This is beautiful, Lisa! I hadn't thought of balance being in constant movement before but I think you're onto something (or Einstein was lol) with that. Truly though - I really think moving forward is where it's found. I love your bracelet, too and the idea of Everest and the Dead Sea being in one place.

Janine Huldie said...

Oh man I always wanted to be like Samantha from Bewitched and just twitch my nose to make things happen! 😉

Dana said...

That is hilarious that you got The Walking Dead - twice! I took the quiz and I'd be How I Met Your Mother. My life is a sitcom, huh? Not sure how I feel about that...

MamaRabia said...

Oh my gosh, that drama final sounds absolutely horrible!! I chose dance as my elective and I didn't even plan the final performance. I just got up there and rolled around on the stage. It was modern dance, so it totally worked and I got an A!

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

Right??? That would make motherhood so much easier!

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

Yeah, The Walking Dead totally threw me for a loop!

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

Ha! Maybe I should have gone that route instead! :-)

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

Thanks, Kristi! I hadn't thought of it that way, either, but he was a pretty smart guy! :-)

Charlene said...

I loved Drama at high school - I was top of the class. If I wasn't going to be a teacher, I would have loved to get into drama/theatre or maybe even acting on a tv show! That would have been cool!!! Great list! I did a couple of those quizzes, I got TV: "How I met your mother", Movie: Stand by Me & Disney movie: Mulan ...Interesting, very interesting! (Going to try and link up tomorrow)

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

I got Stand By Me as well for the movie. Obviously, drama was not my thing, but I love that you were top of your class!

Chris Carter said...

This is such an insightful piece Lisa... what an incredible new perspective on balance. LOVE.

Carin Kilby Clark said...

I love that quote and it's so accurate... balance is ever-changing and constantly in motion. Great post!

Jill Robbins said...

This made me laugh. I LOVE Bewitched and like you, I never (ever) watched Parenthood. I got into the Walking Dead late in the game. I said I'd never get sucked into a show about zombies...but I did!

Sarah said...

Beautiful bracelet! And love that quote. Never thought of balance that way, love that perspective! Great post!

Stephanie Sprenger said...

I love your take on this, Lisa! So wise! I have always struggled with balance-- more so in the past few years that ever before. I like the idea of letting go of the "peaceful and still" aspect. I think that just sets us up for failure. And I love those bracelets-- what a cool way to remember!

Nicole Dash said...

This is so great and right on -- "balance actually isn't at all about stillness and peace. Maybe it's about continuing to move forward without 'falling off.' " Sometimes people place too much pressure on themselves to find peace and quiet. Great post.

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

I would love to have powers like Samantha in Bewitched - although it caused her some problems, too!

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

Thanks, Christine!

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

Thank you! I never thought of it that way either, but I'm glad to have changed my perspective a bit.

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

I wear that bracelet every day and this shift has helped me a lot!

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

Thanks Nicole!

Meredith said...

Can we do a mix of bewitched with Parenthood? Then that would be perfection for me! :) PS---watch parenthood. It's such a great show!

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

Sounds awesome!

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