Thursday, August 7, 2014

Waves of Parenthood

I'm a people watcher.  Humans honestly fascinate me.  We are all so different and unique, yet so incredibly alike.
As I sat on the beach vacationing with my family, I was taking notice of all the other people around me.  Being a mom myself, I paid particular attention to the families around me and it occurred to me that parenthood, much like the ocean, comes in waves. 




I watched my brother in law and sister in law on the beach for the first time with their four month old daughter.  They are new parents, navigating the waters as they embark on a brand new journey.  They are experiencing all the chaos, sleepless nights, diapers, and overwhelming love you never knew you were capable of feeling that comes along with being a new mom and dad.
Then, there were families who had little ones toddling up and down the beach, chasing the edge of the waves, and eventually falling asleep under a tent.  I could feel the sigh of relief coming from those parents as their little, angelic bundles of energy and curiosity finally rested peacefully for a while.

My husband and I fall into the next category with elementary aged children who are finally able to entertain themselves and each other.  They can be trusted to venture slightly deeper into the water as long as some watchful eyes make sure they don't go too deep.  For the first time in years, we were able to sit in our chairs and take it all in without being on edge every single second. 
Eventually, we will be like the parents with teenagers who can allow their children to walk up and down the beach on their own.  We'll have kids who are finally big enough to help lug coolers, boogie boards, chairs, and toys through the hot sand - only we won't need all that stuff anymore.
I hope that, one day, we will experience the beach as grandparents, too.  We'll watch our children go through all of these phases with their own children.  We will happily take over the supervision duties for just a while to give the new parents a break and we will delight in all of the nuances of babies once again, but from a very different perspective.
Just like the waves of the ocean, the waves of parenting can, sometimes, be fairly small and calm.  At other times, though, they are big.  They come crashing down on us and all we can do is hold our breath and tread the waters as we wait for the storm to pass.  The tides ebb and flow as we ride the waves, holding on and hoping to survive.  All the while, the magnitude, ferocity, and serenity of what we experience is simply breathtaking and mind boggling.

31 comments:

Janine Huldie said...

Aww, this was beautifully written and said. I was definitely getting just a bit weepy thinking of the stages we have already navigated and where we are headed, too. And like you I hope to get to navigate the waves of being a grandparent, too :)

Chris Carter said...

Such a lovely perspective in parenting, Lisa... and so true!!! :)

Tamara Bowman said...

I think you said it so perfectly - breathtaking and mind-boggling for SURE.
I'm at that little kid phase, although Scarlet is starting to venture more. At the lake yesterday she would not get out of the water! She was so graceful in it. And then Des still only wades a bit and throws sand at stranger. So there's that!

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

Thanks, Chris!

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

Ha! Sometimes, I miss that stage, but most of the time I'm happy right where we are. Mine are old enough to be pretty independent, but still young enough to be kids! :-)

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

It is bittersweet ,for sure! And, yes, airports are great places to people watch!

The Dose of Reality said...

I am a total people watcher, too! While we were on vacation, I found myself watching the parents at the pool...it was exactly as you just described!-Ashley

Kristi - Finding Ninee said...

This is beautiful, Lisa, and so true. I love the idea of parenting coming in waves (and one day, watching grandchildren to give my kid a break - I so so hope). I'm still in the parenting stage of being terrified because my son has zero fear and loves the waves and cannot swim.

Jennifer | The Deliberate Mom said...

I'm a people watcher too. I love seeing how others interact with one another and their children.

This is so beautiful and so very true Lisa... parenting is like waves. What a beautiful thought.

Thanks for sharing (and for linking up to the #SHINEbloghop).

Wishing you a lovely weekend.
xoxo

Stephanie Sprenger said...

Lisa, this is so fascinating! I was at the pool (Sadly, not as beautiful and certainly no waves!) just yesterday and I had many of the same thoughts that you did as I observed the mothers nursing their babies, running after toddlers, or sitting in a chair reading a novel by themselves. Each stage brings something beautiful. Such a well-written and beautiful post!

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

It is fascinating!

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

Thank you, Kristi! I remember being in the phase where I had to watch them every single minute. That one is stressful! It will pass, though.

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

Thanks, Jennifer!

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

Thanks, Stephanie! I think sometimes we forget, at least a little, about the phases that have passed for us. Certainly, we can't always see what's ahead either. That is, until all the phases are in one place and right in front of us.

Katie Markey McLaughlin said...

I just returned from a beach vacation this afternoon, and my husband and I fall into the toddler-parenting wave. We spent much of the time chasing our little guy around the beach! It was a blast, but thank goodness for the moments Nana or Uncle Matt took over for a bit.

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

Oh, it is so nice when someone else is there to help!! WE all pitched in to help my brother in law and sis in law, but she is still nursing, so there was only so much the rest of us could do! :-)

Sarah @ LeftBrainBuddha said...

I love this analogy -- In mindfulness meditation, we often envision the mind like an ocean, crazy waves and storms on the surface, but deep calm and stillness underneath. Jon Kabat-Zinn says, "You can't control the waves, but you can learn to surf." I think that's what most of parenting is -- surrendering to what we cannot control, and breathing and trying to enjoy the ride. Great post!

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

I love that -"You can't control the waves, but you can learn to surf." Might have to make that my new mantra! :-)

MamaRabia said...

In some ways it's fun and exciting watching the new ways that Frances can navigate the world on her own. Of course, in other ways it's terrifying!! I'm working on trying to balance the two!

Jennifer said...

What a great analogy. I have never thought about it that way before and this is so wonderfully put. Hoping that there DOES come a time when I'm not on edge because when you have a toddler, it feels as if it's always that way and may always bet that way.

Tarana said...

You described it perfectly! The waves in parenting come and go - and there are also high and low tides.

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

Yes, very bittersweet!

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

It won't always be that way - I promise!

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

Yes! Definitely highs and lows!

Meredith said...

It's so true! I think that sometimes, we would like it to be calm all the time, but thinking about the ocean, wouldn't it be much more boring if everything was calm? :) Great post Lisa. You are so insightful.

Chris Carter said...

I just love the analogy you use here Lisa. It's SO true... motherhood is a constant new tide with ever-flowing highs and lows! Each stage... each phase or parenting has SO much in it. I kinda like the stage I'm in now... the kids are old enough to be independent to a certain degree and smart enough to listen and innocent enough to still want to!!

Kristi - Finding Ninee said...

Here's to the not watching them every moment... xo

TheMissusV said...

Sometimes I get cranky when I can't have a moment to myself when we go on vacations because I have a 3yo. You just reminded me that this moment can go by so fast.

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

Thanks, Meredith! I agree that the rough times make us truly appreciate the flamer times.

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

I'm in a very similar stage and I agree - I like it a lot!

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

Aw! It will go by faster than you think.

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