Thursday, September 11, 2014

Being a Girl Mom: The Good, The Bad, & The Ugly

When I was younger, like most little girls, I daydreamed about my future life. I did not really anticipate my wedding, but rather the perfect family that would come afterwards. My vision was very June Cleaver-esque. It involved a tall, dark, and handsome husband who worked a very regular 9-5 job every day and three children - two boys, and, finally, a girl who would be our little princess to spoil.

My life did not turn out quite like my vision.

My husband nails the handsome part of the equation, but he is an average height with red hair and freckles. His job is anything but regular. He travels around the country (sometimes around the world) for work and is gone overnight at least a couple times a week, usually. He has more frequent flyer miles than Ward Cleaver could have counted.

What about the kids? Well, our third one was indeed a girl; a true little princess who loves everything pink and sparkly. However, the other two are girls as well! Though they are all the same gender, they are different as night and day. The oldest is most often found in athletic shorts or yoga pants and a t-shirt. She wouldn't be caught dead in anything pink or glittery. She is stoic and reticent. The middle one is a ball of energy, constantly in motion. She doesn't really care what she wears as long as it involves jeans in some manner and she would honestly forget her head occasionally if it wasn't attached. As I said, the youngest is the princess whose philosophy is "the more pink and sparkles, the better!" The differences between the three of them are incredible.

My youngest is seven and I still get asked if we are going to try "one more time" to see if we can get that boy. The answer to that question is a very emphatic "NO!" Even though it is not what I forecast for my life, I have accepted my fate as a girl mom and accepted several realities of that title.



The Good:

Another thing people often say to me when they find out I have three daughters is, "Wow! You are certainly going to be well taken care of when you get old!" I have no doubt that this is the truth. My girls already take care of me. They love to brush my hair, paint my nails, or help me choose an outfit. They can tell when I'm out of sorts and they respond by asking if they can help or just offering a hug. Girls in general just seem to be more natural nurturers.   I am confident that, when the time comes to truly care for me and their dad, they will rise to the occasion without hesitation.

There is also a sense of camaraderie we have. I always tell them that I am their mother, not their friend. While I subscribe adamantly to that philosophy, there is just a connection we have as girls. It's one of those intangible, indescribable things that you just feel and I feel it with them.

The Bad:

When they were babies, they were all bald. In fact, I could have them dressed in pink and ruffles and, inevitably, a little old lady would come up to me and say, "Oh, HE's so HANDSOME!" I wanted to scream and I could not wait for their hair to grow. Now? OMG the hair!!!! We have enough hair products, curling irons, and hair ties in this house to stock a beauty salon. There is hair in the sinks, hair in the tubs, and hair in the trash cans. We cannot go for a cheap, barber shop clipper buzz. Our trips to the hair salon almost break the bank and my hairdresser loves us!!!

Right now, we really need to go fall shopping, too, but keeping these girls in clothes is a feat. With boys, I imagine, it's not quite as tough. Their clothes are more versatile - khaki pants that can be worn to school or church. With girls - not so much. There are fancy dresses for church, casual dresses for school, shorts/skorts for P.E. day, and athletic clothes for soccer practice. Now, throw in each of their particular preferences and all the shoes to go with all those different outfits. It makes my head spin. Seriously.

The Ugly:

Every parent dreads having "the talk" with their kids, but it is inevitable and necessary. With girls, however, there are two talks that must be had. There is first the menstruation talk and then, of course, the sex talk. Since they are girls and I'm a girl, my husband assumes that this is my territory. Two talks (X) Three girls = SIX super heavy and uncomfortable discussions for which I am primarily responsible. 

Have you ever heard someone say, "Save the drama for your mama!"? Well, I'm officially begging you - PLEASE, DO NOT EVER SAY THAT TO MY DAUGHTERS!!! I am up to my eyeballs in drama. Boys fight with fists and feet. Girls fight with words and eye rolls. I am convinced the words and eyes cut far deeper than the fists. Plus, girls just tend to be more sensitive, so, when they are on the receiving end, they take it so much harder. Mine are not even teenagers yet and I swear the hormones are already flying around here. Throw in my own fluctuations and it can be a pretty volatile situation!

*************
I'm sure the boy moms would have their own good, bad, and ugly lists. And, of course, there are the moms who have some of each. The truth is, we all have different family structures and we are all blessed (and cursed) in different ways. We simply cannot control the gender of the children we get and I, for one, wouldn't want to. This house full of girls and a red-headed, traveling hubby may not be what I imagined so many years ago, but I am so incredibly grateful for every minute of it and I wouldn't change a thing! 

19 comments:

Janine Huldie said...

Yes, yes, yes!!! I can totally relate minus the one girl, but still so much of this I was nodding my head to. And Kevin literally just told me the other day he was so happy they were girls so he wouldn't have to have "The Talk" with them!!

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

Ugh! Why fo men do that? I've only had "The talks" with my oldest so far, but I made suer to let her know that her dad was perfectly capable of answering any questions she might have!

Janine Huldie said...

Lisa, said perfectly and so going to have to remember this when my girls get to this point!

Dana said...

I know you get what you get, but I'm perfectly happy with one of each. My house is already one big hairball with just one daughter (and me) - I can only imagine what yours is like! If you want to come hide out at my house when the hormones get to be too much, come on over!

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

Be careful - I might take you up on that!! :-)

Ginnymarie said...

I think I'd have to have "the talk" even if I did have boys instead of girls! I'm much more comfortable talking about these things than my husband is! I love being the mom of girls, although the drama hasn't been too bad yet. But my oldest is only 9, so I'm expecting it!

Tamara Bowman said...

I always thought I'd have two girls and a boy! I suppose that's still possible. I never specified age order in my vision.
I love having one of each so that I can see what it's like. They're a bit young for a lot of the clothes/fighting drama, but it will happen. And I do have to tell you that if I had two girls, or even three, I'd be so happy. My secret is that I'd be afraid to have three boys..

Kate Norris said...

I only have one girl and we are at the ripe old age of 14....I hate life right now lol not really, but ya know the drama (whihc has always been there), plus boy drama (we won't let her date lol she can have a boy over but one parent must always be present and any and all doors must be open, but ya know we don't let her go to the movies with him so we are obviously horrible lol [she doesn't really think that btw I'm exaggerating haha]), plus menstruation and sex pressure god I hope I survive! hahaha Seriously though, there is so much to it....so much for boys and girls, but the period and sex pressures...aye aye aye!

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

Mine are 12, 9, & 7. I truly believe they both experienced a hormone surge during the 9 year old year. It seems like that was the year they became a lot more emotional and moody. It was intense for a while, then eased up a little.

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

Ha! I grew up with an older brother who layer sports. I played sports too, so that was my life growing up and I guess we tend to go with what we know. I really do love that I have girls - just not at all what I anticipated!

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

My oldest just turned 12, so we are not quite there yet, but we are very, very close. I completely agree with your rules, though, and would/do have the same ones for my girls.

writermomangela said...

I grew up in a house full of women, my dad traveled a lot for work so it was probably a lot like your house is now! I had a daughter first, no problemo! Second baby was a boy, problemo! Boy they just really operate on a whole different concept than us girls do!!

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

Ha! Well, I can't really commiserate, but I'm sure if I did have a boy I would be confused!

mike said...

mine are grown, 2 girls and a boy. good luck with the 3 girl thing, the talk (times 2) and all the rest of it.....

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

Thanks!

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

Not every Sunday, but we're getting there! :-)

Rea Alducente said...

Aww, girls are sweet too. When they becomes teens, I guess it becomes more challenging. I only have one kid, a son.. hmmm.. you inspired me to write my own good, bad, and ugly. LOL!

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

Yay! Look forward to reading it!

Reasons to Dress said...

Oh my goodness just read this comment. Don't make me hear this Kate or I will stop at an only child !!! Girls are hard work, good for you super mom!

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