Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Three Strategies to Reign In the Christmas Gift Giving

When my oldest daughter was three and finally old enough to actually tell me some things she wanted for Christmas, I made the mistake of giving her a toy catalog. "Show me some things you want Santa to bring you," I instructed. She eagerly flipped through the pages pointing and saying, "I want THIS! What is it?" There were so many choices. She was overwhelmed, greed took over, and she wanted everything.

As parents, we really do want to give our children everything they want. We want to see the joy on their faces on Christmas morning when they open the perfect gift. Of course, we can't really give them everything, though. Nowadays, there is just too much "stuff," but our reality is limited by space, budget, and teaching our children the value of moderation.

So, how do we do it? In an environment where we are all bombarded by advertisements trying to convince us we need more and more, how do we reign it in? How do we curb the greed and still make our kids happy? 

Over the years, I have seen three different strategies used to help reign in the holiday gift giving.


Three Gifts - This is the basic strategy we use in our home. It stems from the idea that Jesus was given three gifts from the Wise Men. Our children are allowed to ask Santa for three things and they can ask us for one additional item. As they get older, we have also specified that one of the items can be a big, somewhat more expensive item, but the rest should be smaller. (Otherwise their 3-4 items would most likely all be high dollar choices.) This approach can certainly be modified to fit your family's needs and rules.

Body, mind, and soul - 
This gameplan also involves three gifts, but they are more specific and focused. One focuses on the body such as a bike, trampoline, or sports gear. The second is something to enhance the mind such as books, puzzles, or even a tablet. Finally, one for the soul. This one can be tricky since most kids wouldn't really enjoy a massage, so try to think about what is most important to your child. Does he/she love music? Animals? What would "feed their soul?"

Something you want, something you need, something to wear, and something to read- This method is pretty straightforward. One gift is something the child wants (i.e. a toy); one gift that is something they need (i.e. sheets, new car seat, or new backpack); something to wear (i.e. clothes, pajamas, or shoes); something to read (books, of course! Could also be a tablet or gift card to purchase ebooks.)

A couple more things to consider:

- This year, I am trying to help my girls understand that a gift is not always a thing. It could be an experience such as a horseback riding lesson, a cooking class, or going to a movie. Some families even go to Disney or somewhere big in lieu of gifts. It could also be just spending time together doing something fun, like a coupon for a tea party or a family game night. Gifts don't have to = stuff. 

- Other intangibles can make great gifts as well. My oldest daughter LOVES animals, so one year we made a donation to the World Wildlife Foundation and "adopted" an animal. She loved it! Especially at this time of year, many non-profits offer items in exchange for donations. Maybe making a donation to a worthy cause would be a better solution than buying more things they don't really need.

- Think about helping others. Especially as children get older and can understand the correlation between money and gift giving, how wonderful would it be if they were willing to "give up" one of their gifts and give to someone in need? What if you took your kids shopping to fill a stocking for someone who, otherwise, might not get anything for Christmas? 

This year, I am really trying to think outside the box when it comes to gifts for my kids. It's tough because we are still riding the Santa train with my youngest daughter. I'm working on it, though, and I hope these ideas will help you, too!

What gift giving strategies do you use? What are some "alternative" gift you have given or received int he past? 

35 comments:

Janine Huldie said...

I totally made that mistake with Emma when she too was three and like you never again. Great suggestions and thanks for sharing 😉

MamaRabia said...

We usually do the second one: something they want, something they need, something to wear and something to read. Frequently, if the right gift comes along we might add "something to share."
I confused Benjamin the other night at dinner because the topic of conversation I brought up was about their Christmas lists: what they wanted to get FOR other people. The older two picked it up right away, though!

Karen said...

these are such great ideas...Thankfully Dino only told Santa he wanted two things, but I know he wants other small things. I am so using these ideas for next Christmas.

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

This year it's the opposite - none of mine can think of anything they really want and I feel like I'm just getting "stuff" to say they got something/Santa came. Trying to use some of these myself to keep all of us focused!

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

Three years ago, my kids wanted to get gifts for everyone, but we have a big family so we suggested they do.make something for everyone. They decided to write a story - a funny Christmas story with all of our family members as characters. They have done it every year since then - this will be the 4th!! It can be quite a challenge to incorporate all those people into the story, but they love doing it and it has kind of become a tradition! :-)

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

Very glad it was helpful!

Tamara Bowman said...

I love the idea of three gifts. We usually get the kids one or two only, because with six grandparents and a dozen aunts and uncles, they get so much!
We got Disney World tickets last year and told Scarlet that Santa brought them. It was interesting that she was old enough to truly be excited about it, but she was also still young enough that she didn't totally get it until it was right in front of her.

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

We have thought about doing a trip this year for the kids. They love to travel. Just trying to figure out somewhere that is in the budget and not terribly snowy & cold then! :-)

Janine Huldie said...

Love that you are co-hosting. Such great advice and will say I feel lucky for the most part Kevin doesn't travel much for work as I do rely on him being home in the evenings and weekends too for so much to be honest.

Kristi - Finding Ninee said...

I remember traveling more for work and my friends being jealous that I got the Honeymoon suite.. I was like um first, I'm alone and second, exhausted and all of the stuff I want is just at home. With that said, I do like now the travel without the hubs (although OMG those beds at BlogU were enough to send me home and are you going). Also I went to college freshman year at Mills after growing up in no ocean Denver and Stinson beach? One of my favorites to this day!!

Kristi - Finding Ninee said...

and thank you for co hosting!

Anna Fitfunner said...

I used to travel a fair amount for work, so I actually have lived both sides of the story. No doubt such traveling is tough on both of you, but it seems that your family is still intact and thriving. Which is wonderful! Also, great pictures of Stinson -- we used to live in the SF Bay area, and enjoyed the ocean and beach there quite a bit!

Nicki Gilbert said...

I relate to every word of this post, Lisa! I live in the Bay Area, and adore Stinson but that road...! Sheesh. Unless I'm driving I can't do it. I get totally carsick. And my husband is gone too, all the time and from when we first got married. I do it the way you do, and we go through phases where it works better when he's not here (even though I miss him) and where it all falls apart just because he's not here. The best way I cope with the inconsistency is to always assume he will not be in town... that way when he is, it's a welcome surprise :). Hope you get to come back to the beautiful Bay and visit Stinson when the sun is shining.

Karen said...

that is really tough and it takes a great marriage and communication to make it work. MY hubby works nights and we only get to see each other very briefly at night, if I'm not passed out already and in the morning when I leave for work and he's a zombie still trying to wake up. The weekends are our time as a family. I hate being alone in the evening with Anthony, I always worry about an emergency taking place...

Susan Zutautas said...

I think I've been on that same road along the pacific coast hwy. My husband has always been a workaholic and I can say that I've gotten used to it over the years. I love my time alone, well most of it.

TheMissusV said...

My husband doesn't travel a lot so we have him around most times but I gotta admit, there are times when I wish he did! LOL The travel rewards sure sounds like an awesome thing! Paris!

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

David is rarely gone on the weekends, but when he is it's just weird!

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

The beds at BLogU were awful!! Don't know if I'm going this year - it's a tough weekend because it's so close the the end of the school year. If I do go, thinking about getting a commuter ticket and staying at a hotel somewhere with better beds. But, that would mean renting a car and driving in an unfamiliar place and I am terrible with directions.

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

I think we are just so used to the travel that it does't faze us anymore. Stinson is beautiful - even the scary road was breathtaking scenery. I should have added the picture of the sign as you walk onto the beach that warns of great white sharks! :-)

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

Thanks Nicki! We loved visiting Stinson and would love to go back sometime. It really was beautiful and so different from the beaches here in NC. I know what you mean about it sometimes working better when the hubby is gone. Sometimes, if he actually has been home for a good stretch, it's like we are all getting on each other's nerves. I miss him when he's gone, but I've/we've come to appreciate the time apart as well.

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

Fortunately, my in laws live right next door, so if there was an emergency, I have someone really close to help. It can be tough on a marriage, but we have pretty much figured it out. :-)

Ginnymarie said...

My husband hardly ever travels for work, and when he does it's just for one night. But he leaves in the morning at 6, and most night doesn't get home until 6! It is always nice to have him here at the end of the day, though. Paris is on my bucket list, you know!

Tarana said...

Thanks for sharing your perspective! It was interesting to get an inside view of what it's like to have a traveling spouse.

Scott said...

I don't have a spouse, but I imagine it presents some unique challenges when one of them travels frequently.

Dana said...

Matt doesn't travel much, but I used to hate it when the kids were little. Now it's not as hard, and I focus on the positives instead of the negatives. And I know exactly what you mean about driving in CA - I had to keep my eyes on the road or out at the ocean. If I looked down, I got nauseous! I'm glad Matt was driving.

Tamara Bowman said...

Honestly, I know exactly where you mean, as I used to live in San Francisco. And yes, I thought I might die too! Or just get motion sick. And I don't even get motion sick. We did that drive with a house guest so I was in the backseat.
Never again.
Cassidy doesn't travel a lot, but my dad did when I was a kid and my mom had five kids to raise! Whoa!

Ruchira said...

I don't like it when my spouse travels...too much to handle and although my kitchen gets a break...but i still wouldn't mind cooking and him being there to help me around.


Glad to read you handle it so well :) I totally agree with your pros and cons!

Kim said...

Yes, my husband travels a lot - he is a military pilot so his trips range from short to long deployments. Now that the boys are older it is easier but there were several years when the constant traveling was really hard. I like the way you broke this into pros and cons - great way to look at things!

Chris Carter said...

Oh this is great Lisa!! I can only imagine how scary that road was and white knuckling your way on and around the mountain cliffs!!!! I would have been terrified!!!

Derek used to travel all the time when the kids were younger... I love your lists and they are all SO true!!! I loved the alone time I had to myself, and yet? I was so jealous that he got to go to cool places and bask in the hotel room without the incessant needs of kids around him. But oh, how I missed him!!

Kristi - Finding Ninee said...

I love the idea of three gifts as well, and I LOVE the idea of at least one of them being something like adopting an animal. When Tucker was born, somebody gifted a goat to a starving family - the goat provides cheese, milk, and I can't even remember all of the stuff but I was really impressed by it :) I think it was Feed The Children. Anyway, I guess because they're really hearty animals and reproduce quickly, having one can be a huge boost to a hungry family.
Tucker's getting the Santa fever too. We'd told him two things but every night before bed the number gets bigger. Recently he said he needs 10 presents. Not happening, little dude...
Also, I tell my dad to go shopping in my Audible.com account. It works for both of us...

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

The three gifts strategy has worked great thus far, but now that they are getting older their gift request are getting more expensive. Originally, Megan wanted a computer and a saddle (for her riding lessons), and a watch. Since a "cheap" saddle costs about $3,000, that definitely won't be happening!

Tarana said...

I think this is a really good thought! The last thing we want is our children to associate happiness with material things. It's important to teach them about the family ties and love that make festivals real.

TheMissusV said...

I was actually thinking of doing this this Christmas! 1 toy, shoes and 1 toy from Santa. That's it!

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

It's so hard. I don't want to steal the magic of Christmas, but there has got to be some limits, too.

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

Sounds like a plan!

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