Well, those three sisters are now 12, 10, and 7 years old and they could not be more different. The oldest is super smart, sporty, stoic, and driven. The middle one is a ball of energy, chatter, and silliness. The youngest is a little princess who wears her heart on her sleeve.
Oftentimes, the differences make these sisters mix about as well as oil and water. They fight. They bicker. They intentionally annoy one another and point out every flaw they see in the other. The bond people told me would be so deep and strong is buried under yelling, arguing, and tears.
It seems their arguing, ebbs and flows like the tide. They go through phases when they (mostly) get along. Then, somehow the cosmos realign and an arguing phase ensues in which they cannot even be in the same room without jumping down each other's throats.
Right now, we are in one of those arguing phases. Maybe it's because it's the end of summer and my girls have had all the "togetherness" they can stand. Maybe they are bored and fighting is just a way to fill the time. Maybe it's just what siblings do and trying to assign any rhyme or reason is pointless.
Not only do they argue with each other, but they argue with me as well. Often it seems, we have the same disagreements over and over and over again.
In just the last few days, here are some of the utterly ridiculous & annoyingly repetitive things they have argued about with each other and with me:
In just the last few days, here are some of the utterly ridiculous & annoyingly repetitive things they have argued about with each other and with me:
- Who left footprints on the windshield of my minivan. Yes, you read that correctly. FOOTPRINTS on the WINDSHIELD!
- Messes. "Who left this empty cup here?" I ask and the finger pointing begins. And, heaven forbid I ask them to clean something! That incites an argument, for sure!
- Food - Where to go out to eat, who ate the last of the ice cream, who is the pickiest eater - all are debate-worthy. Just the other day, my oldest - the vegetarian - was insulting my youngest about how picky she is!
- Who sits where in the car. Three is an odd number which means nothing can ever really be fair and someone always has to sit in the back of the van. They fight over this every time we go somewhere. Every. Single. Time.
- Clothes. I learned a long time ago to pick my battles when it comes to clothes, but once in a while I have to insist they wear something that makes a little more sense than whatever outfit they have chosen on their own. Inevitably, this causes an uprising.
- Hair. My oldest doesn't want her curly hair to be frizzy yet she refuses to put any product on it because that makes it "crunchy." My two youngest have a very apparent disdain for combing their hair.
- Bedtime. Of course, they always think they should go to bed later than we make them and the oldest thinks she should be allowed to go to bed later than her younger sisters.
- Temperature. They're hot. They're cold. Nobody can ever agree.
- Family activities. Family game night? Nobody can agree on a game. Family movie night? Nobody can agree on a movie. Squabbles sure to flare up.
- Arguing. Yep. They argue about why and how they argue. They argue about who started it and whose fault it is. Arguing about arguing - the ultimate ridiculousness!
Based on past experience, I know this phase will pass and, if I can survive it, the tide will, eventually, turn once again. Life will return to a more peaceful state. In the meantime, I will try to smile and remember to laugh at the silliness of these arguments, because, sometimes, laughing is all I can do to keep from pulling out every last hair on my head!
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29 comments:
Footprints on the windshield...I have a feeling arguments like this are not far in my future.
Yup, as much as my girls love each other, they argue about everything here, too, especially where they will sit in the car with someone always wanting to sit behind me. Go figure and keeping the peace is seriously not that easy with girls!
Wow, life is hard. Frizzy not crunchy... Here I would love to have curls but nothing...
Des and Scarlet were totally fine.. and then he turned three. They fight about EVERYTHING, but mostly about who gets served food first and who gets to hold the communal toys.
I call it "practicing their conflict resolution skills!" Mine fight about a lot of stupid things too. What I really want to know is who put the footprints on the windshield!?!
Yeah - in the midst of that one I just had to laugh! :-)
Nope! They fight just as fiercely as they love! :-)
I keep telling her that there are plenty of people who would love to have her curls. Of curse, she wishes hers was straight!
Oy! Mine don't really fight about toys anymore, but I swear they can turn anything and everything into an argument.
Well, in that case, mine do a lot of practicing! I say they are practicing to become really great lawyers. :-) I'm fairly certain the footprints being to my middle, but I cannot for the life of me figure out when she put them there!
Oh yes!! I am a momma bear not only for my daughter, but other family and friends. I just do not back down when someone I love is being beaten down. It will not happen on my watch. I don't like confrontation but I've gotten to the point where I rather have things resolved than to fester.
I still remember this incident and you had every right to go Mama Bear on this teacher, as I most certainly would have reacted similar to you if it had been one of my girls, as well!
I've done them mama bear routine a couple of times too when my kids were younger. You get into a whole different mind set and determination wins out over peace keeping!
I'm sure I've gone Mama Bear, but I can't remember anything off the top of my head right now. Don't mess with my kids, though...I think that's something almost all mothers have in common!
I am exactly like you. I avoid confrontation or try to find a way to diffuse tense situations with humour. But where my kids are concerned, Mama Bear comes out sometimes and I become very matter of fact and down to business. Don't mess with a mama's kids.
Holy cow, yes. I'm SO non-confrontational but I am just as much SO scary when I'm in that mode. What you described.. I would have LOST it. Changed schools, yelled at people, the whole deal.
I'm not very confrontational either but I can see me going into mama bear mode if someone hurts my little one.
I feel that way when it is someone else I am defending. I need to do better about standing up for myself!
That is one I will never forget! Fortunately, we were able to move our girls to a new school this year and, so far, things are MUCH better!
Exactly!
I think so, too. It's an instinctive thing to protect our young!
Precisely!
Yep - did all of that! I yelled, cried, and, ultimately, we moved them to a different school for this year.
I love it, Lisa! You are ready to fight for your babies!! I HATE confronting people... it causes SO much anxiety in me, I think I age about ten years any time I must. I try to avoid it too... but I'm with you. If it's about my kids? LOOK. OUT.
You will, I'm sure.
Amen! :-)
This characterization is one of the ones that I admire the most of mothers. It shows so much strength and love for their kids. Go mama bear mode!
www.artadorned.com
YES!!! FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT for our kids! Also it makes me almost shaky to think about the people at your daughter's school dismissing you and her and other kids and ARGH!!! Yup.
Well, she's not going to that school this year. Mostly because of all that. So far, we're all much happier. :-)
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