Friday, February 26, 2016

God and President Reagan

My dad is a huge history buff and trivia guru. He knows all kinds of facts and figures. In fact, we've been telling him for years that he should try out for Jeopardy - he almost always wins when he plays along from home. 
My dad and my youngest daughter

When I was little, I used ask him lots of questions like most kids do and he always seemed to have an answer. When I would ask, "How do you know that?" he would joke and say, "Because I know everything!" Once, when he gave this reply, I apparently had a sassy reply of my own and told him, "Only God and President Reagan know everything!"

The innocence of a child, right??

Maybe God knows everything, but I'm pretty sure that neither my dad nor President Reagan really knew everything. (I'm very sure that NONE of the current presidential candidates know much of anything, but let's not go down that road!)

I'm not sure I ever assumed I would someday know everything, but I thought that by this time in life I would know a lot - after all, I'm almost 40. However, there are still plenty of things I cannot answer. 
I though that by now, I'd have it all figure out, but I have only figured out that I have nothing furred out at all. #FTSF @TheGoldenSpoons
I don't know why choosing a middle school has to be as stressful as choosing a college. We have spent this week in a stressed out tizzy over where our middle daughter will attend middle school next year. As I type this at 10:15pm on Thursday, we still have not fully reached a decision and the deadline is Friday - tomorrow. Once that's decided, we'll continue waiting for high school placement letters for our oldest daughter and start an all new stressed out tizzy. When did middle school and high school "options" even become a thing? 

I didn't realize that the hormonal teen years would start when my girls were 10. I mean, "teen years" implies that they would be at least 13, right? Sometimes, I don't know if I have enough patience to make it through these years and these days when it's like I live with three mini, female versions of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. 

I don't know why, at almost 40, I am usually just as insecure as I was when I was 15. In my head, I know healthy is more important being able to wear a certain size of pants, but, apparently, I also don't know how to embrace that concept in my heart and soul. I know that my success is not determined by plagues on the wall or dollars in my pocket, so I don't know why those things still matter.

I don't know where writer's block comes from. Maybe stress or fatigue or lack of enthusiasm or all of the above. And, I don't know if just pouring out the dribble in this post will solve my case of it, but hopefully it will at least put a crack in the shell. 

So what do I know? I know that life is messy. I know that I love my family more than anything in this world. Some days are stressful and tough. Other days are joyous and carefree. It's the mixture of the two that keeps things interesting. 

I know that when I was younger I thought I would have it all figured out by now. Today, I know that was a crazy assumption and that I'll probably never have it all figured out at all. But, I also know that that's okay.

This post was written as part of the Finish The Sentence Friday Linkup hosted by Kristi of Finding Ninee. This week's prompt was, "I though by this time in life, I'd . . . . . "

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