Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Ten Reasons Why Tweens Are Better Than Toddlers


Toddler photo credit
Tween Photo credit
Back to school season brings many transitions.  Changes like these, inevitably, seem to lead to reminiscing.  Add in a birthday and, well, I turn into a big sap.  My oldest daughter recently turned eleven and started middle school.  Therefore, we are jumping headfirst into “tweendom” and I’ve been doing more than my fair share of looking back. 

Honestly, I have entered this phase of parenthood guardedly because I have heard so many cautionary tales about tweens.  I’ve gotten warnings about the impending hormonal meltdowns, mean girls, bullying, and the bad behavior on social media that many tween parents have experienced.  I frequently hear comments such as “Oh, you’re in for it now!” 

However, I’m more of a “glass half full” kind of gal and, quite frankly, I am tired of all the negativity.  As we tread the waters of these tween years, I’m beginning realize that it’s really not all that bad.  As I recall days and phases of the past, I am actually kind of happy to be where we are.  In fact, I think I would take my tween over a toddler any day.  Here’s why:


  1. She can express her feelings.- We’ve all experienced that screaming toddler who has very few words and wondered “Is she hungry? Tired?  Maybe just frustrated?”  Well, with tweens, there is no guessing game.  They may have a hormonal meltdown complete with tears and slamming doors, but you can rest assured that you will know exactly what he/she is feeling!  
  2. She can have a conversation. - When I asked my toddler about her day at preschool, I usually got a very vague answer about who she played with on the playground or what they had for snack.  Now when I ask, she can tell me what she learned, what homework she has, and who she sat with at the lunch table.  We can also talk about current events, or books she’s reading, or Selena Gomez’s much too revealing VMA awards show wardrobe.  It’s actually pretty cool!
  3. She is so much more independent. - I remember wrestling my toddlers into clothes and then worrying about what the teachers would think of her ridiculous outfit because it was the only thing she would wear.  I also remember begging her to eat just one more bite and, oh my, the potty training.  Now, she wakes up when her alarm clock goes off. (I always double check!) Then, she gets herself dressed, fixes herself some breakfast, and, this year even packs her own lunch.  She can also tie her own shoes and hasn’t asked me to look at her poop in years!
  4. She can tell time. - Toddlers move at their own pace because they don't understand the concept of time and schedules.  In fact, my six year old still does this.  My tween on the other hand, knows when the tardy bell rings at school and she knows when her gymnastics class starts.  She doesn’t want to be late to hang out with her friends so she is much more motivated to get there on time and understands the consequences of being late. 
  5. She does her own homework. -O.K.  Maybe toddlers don’t have actual homework, but I remember trying to help my girls learn their ABC’s & 123’s. It was tedious and frustrating.  Now, my sixth grader is encouraged to do her homework “independently” and, truthfully, she is probably going to bring home some math problems that I couldn’t help with even if she asked! 
  6. She can read. -  I couldn’t even begin to tell you how many times I read Brown Bear or Green Eggs & Ham.  Although I loved the cuddle time, the repetition was maddening.  Now, she can read what she chooses on her Nook all by herself as many times as she wants! 
  7. She doesn’t need naps anymore. - I know naps can be nice, but they can also be a pain.  When my daughters were little, my schedule revolved around their sleep schedules.  We had to be home for naps and bedtime.  Now, of course, they don’t nap and their bedtimes can be flexible  Plus, my tween sleeps in every chance she gets!
  8. We get some time apart. - Since I am a stay at home mom, I rarely got time away from my kids when they were toddlers.  Although I loved them dearly (still do!), sometimes we just both needed a break, but it was hard to get one.  Now, she’s in school most of the day.  When she is home, she can entertain herself and doesn’t feel the need to be physically attached to me all the time.
  9. She is becoming who she is going to be. - The biggest goal for most toddlers is keeping their pants dry or making it through a playdate without altercation.  My tween, however, is beginning to develop real life goals.  She is thinking about what she really wants to be when she grows up.  She is working to get good grades.  She is learning how to make friendships last.  She is developing her own set of beliefs.  It is so exciting to be getting a glimpse of who she is really going to be “when she grows up.”
  10. We get perspective. - Every stage of childhood and parenting is special in some way.  When my daughter was a toddler, I loved the cuddling and cuteness.  However, I spent my days dealing with messes and calming tantrums.  I often wondered if we would ever get through that stage.  Sure, the tween and teen years will have their ups and downs.  I know there will be rough patches.  But, now I can say, “Look how far we’ve come!”  We made it through breastfeeding and potty training.  We made it through separation anxiety (hers and mine).  We worked together to deal with that bully in fourth grade.  We both survived her first overnight trip.  We’ve had “the talk” and can communicate openly.  We’ve made it through a lot already.  So I say, bring on the tween years.  We’ll make it through those, too, and they will be great! 

Tuesday Ten button pic photo smallTuesdayTenjpeg_zpsad8292e4.jpg

28 comments:

This Mom said...

Mine is 9 and I have also been told by my friends with middle schoolers that the hardest years are yet to come. I am thankful that she comes to me and can talk openly about anything. Plus, I watched my great niece the other day and I was exhausted! She is 17 months old - love her but was soooo ready for her mom to pick her up.

The Dose of Reality said...

Love it Lisa. My older one is getting close to turning 10, and I related to so much of what you said here. :)-Ashley

Tamara Bowman said...

Well I've got one leaving the toddler years, and one entering them, so it's nice to look forward to the future. I hate when people say things like, "Just you wait" or "You're in for it!" I always want to shout back, "You don't know me! You don't know my kids! Buzz off!"
I love the telling time thing. Ugh.

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

Yep! My sister in law is pregnant, due in January, with their first child. I cannot even imagine doing those sleepless nights or breastfeeding or diapers again OR all the the toddler stuff that comes after!

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

Thanks, Ashley!

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

Thanks, Tamara! There are some things about those younger years that I miss and some thing that I definitely do not. Every stage has positives and negatives, I suppose! :-) All those naysayers really get under my skin, too~

Amber said...

Great post. I do have a tween. He's pretty awesome.

Kenya G. Johnson said...

Love this "Every stage of childhood and parenting is special in some way." Love the independence that they grown into. I've never been one to miss the stages when I had to do everything. I love it that my son can run his own bath water and stuff like that. I still have give him the right amount of shampoo and rinse is head but you know what I mean. I am happy to be where we are too. Eight year olds are better than toddlers too ;-)

Kenya G. Johnson said...

LOL Tamara, I hate that too. It really irked me when I was pregnant - like "you just wait until you get to the THIRD trimester."

Jessica Smock said...

Great post! I was a teacher of "tweens" for more than a decade, mostly fifth grade, a couple years of sixth. I loved that age! Yes, the social stuff with girls can start to get difficult, but I love how they're navigating between the worlds of adolescence and childhood.

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

Tweens are awesome! :-)

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

Yes - I have an eight year old, too & a six year old - they are both better than toddlers, too! :-)

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

Exactly! It is really fun to watch them developing into young adults.

mamabeann said...

It's so true...every phase is unique and brings it's own joys and challenges :) I have one in the toddler and two in the "kid" phase, but we're not quite to the tweens yet! Thank you so much for linking with us for Wine'd down Wednesday!

Itzybellababy said...

I do look forward to the day I don't have to change her diaper, but I just know I will miss it later.. lol.

christine said...

My oldest just turned 15. I'm more and more convinced that there isn't a "best" age. They are all wonderful and maddening at the same time. So glad to see someone focusing on the positives of tweens/teens.

Kristi - Finding Ninee said...

Lisa, this is awesome! I love it. My husband's daughter lived with us from 13 to 19. I won't lie - it was rough. But you're so right - the talking part and the independent parts? So lovely and nice.

Michelle Nahom said...

Awesome list!! I like the independence too. But the moodiness of my teenage I could do without! Honestly sometimes it's like a toddler, I have no idea why the s*** just hit the fan!

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

Every stage is special! Thanks for hosting the linkup! :-)

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

There are definitely things I miss - they are not nearly as cuddly now!

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

Yes - each stage has positives AND negatives. As you said, I was tired of hearing nothing but negatives about the "tween" stage. :-)

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

Thanks Kristi! I'm sure I will have moments when I will wish my tween could be a toddler again. Overall, though, the independence is definitely a plus!

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

Ha! SInce my oldest is just now a "tween" at age 11, I'm sure there are more hormonal mood swings in my future, too! :-)

Cam | Bibs and Baubles said...

Great list. Sounds like I have a lot to look forward to. I'm currently in toddler-ville. Two of them. :)

Katie Eure said...

I totally agree! I have a toddler and a tween, and must admit the tween stage is easier for me to handle - most days :)

Kristen said...

This is a really cute list! I kinda had to laugh about the nap part though. Just the other day I was saying that I wished I could back to the time in my life when naps were mandatory. As adults, we have this all wrong. Bring nap time back!

Allie Burdick said...

So true about #4!!! I have 4 yo twin boys and everything is a "nap" to them, they have no idea what "all day" means (as in I'm taking that toy away from you all day!) and waiting to go on vacation is either an eternity or the very next moment. It's pretty funny (and can be manipulated) but can also be a huge pain!!

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Jennifer @ The Jenny Evolution

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