Thursday, July 31, 2014

Building Cathedrals

July 31st.  I cannot believe tomorrow is the first day of August.  This summer has flown by faster than any I can recall.  Overall, it has been wonderful.  Naturally, though, there have been "I want to pull my hair out" moments, too, when I was bombarded with request after request and couldn't seem to find two minutes of peace.  We moms get tired and overwhelmed.  Then, we feel guilty for mot making the most of every single second we have with our children.  It's a vicious cycle, really.

So, when I was looking through old posts trying to find something for my last blog rerun on this final day of July, I decided on the story below.  I have heard it a few more times since I first posted it in January, 2011 after my mom emailed to to me.  Based on the opening of that blog post, I was feeling a little harried and needed this reminder.  I sure my mom sensed that I could use a little encouragement.  I think all moms could probably use this reminder, though, even on the good days and especially on the bad ones. 

Thanks to my mom for sharing it with me over three years ago.  I haven't forgotten it.  Maybe you know a mom who needs to hear it right now, too??  If so, please share it with them.  If not, maybe you need it yourself or, maybe, you can just tuck it away for one of "those days" when you don't know if you are going to survive this thing called parenting.

The Invisible Mother
                                     ~by Mary Lynn Plaisance 

It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and ask to be taken to the store. Inside I'm thinking, 'Can't you see I'm on the phone?'

Obviously not; no one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner because no one can see me at all. I'm invisible. The Invisible Mom. Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more! Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this??

Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask, 'What time is it?' I'm a satellite guide to answer, 'What number is the Disney Channel?' I'm a car to order, 'Right around 5:30, please.'

Some days I'm a crystal ball: 'Where's my other sock? Where's my phone? What's for dinner?'

I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history, music and literature--but now, they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. She's going, she's going, she's gone!

One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England . She had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when she turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, 'I brought you this.' It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe . I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription: 
'With admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees.'

In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work: 1) No one can say who built the great cathedrals--we have no record of their names. 2) These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished. 3) They made great sacrifices and expected no credit. 4) The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.

A story of legend in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, 'Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof, No one will ever see it And the workman replied, 'Because God sees.'

I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, "I see you. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does."

No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, no Cub Scout meeting, no last minute errand is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become.

I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on. The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.

When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, "My Mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for three hours and presses all the linens for the table." That would mean I'd built a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, he'd say, "You're gonna love it there..."

As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we're doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible mothers.  
Build on, mamas. Build on! You are seen. You are appreciated. 
Your cathedrals are magnificent.  


Janine Huldie said...

Aww, so very beautiful and true. And by the way, cannot believe tomorrow is August 1st either! The summer needs to slow down just a bit now.

Dana said...

Love this. Very timely for me, as I was feeling quite invisible today. Thanks, Lisa - I needed to read this.:)

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

Glad you liked it! I think all moms feel invisible sometimes - this is a great reminder.

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

You are not invisible, my friend! Glad this helped today!

Maggie Draper said...

Nice post for all parents. Thanks for sharing.

The Dose of Reality said...

So beautiful and such a great reminder for all mothers that the work we are doing does always produce instant results. Love this.-Ashley

Trish said...

I had quite the week with my little one. Even though he can't talk, he sure is demanding! I think I needed this reminder :)

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

You're welcome! Glad you enjoyed it.

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

Indeed! Thanks~

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

Sometimes, the little ones are the most demanding and that's when we feel the most invisible. Glad you enjoyed this~

Kristi - Finding Ninee said...

Thanks for sharing this, Lisa. It really helps to know that other parents feel invisible sometimes. xo

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