Thursday, February 19, 2015

Teaching Children About Compassion {#1000Speak}

Compassion. According to the Merriam Webster Dictionary it is "a feeling of wanting to help someone who is sick, hungry, in trouble, etc."  Today, however, I'm going to define compassion by telling you a story. 

I have three daughters. They have a cousin, A, whom they have never even met. You see, A has Mitochondrial disease - a genetic condition that prevents his muscles from processing energy normally. At age 12, he weighs a scarce 35-ish pounds, is wheelchair bound, and receives his nutrition through a feeding tube. In just over a decade, he has been under anesthesia countless times and had more "procedures" than any adult I know. Yet, he smiles. 

Not quite a year ago, he had a very serious surgery. There were complications and he spent weeks in the hospital. As I followed his progress via Facebook and email, I shared with my girls what was happening. They wanted desperately to help. My youngest even cried and prayed for A. There simply wasn't much to be done, though. Especially by children from a distance. I told the girls the best thing they could do was help the Mitochondrial Disease Foundation so more research could be done to help A and other children like him. I told them about a walkathon A's family does every year to raise money and awareness. Immediately, my girls were on board. 

After some discussion, they decided on doing a bake sale to raise money to donate to A's walkathon team. They spent weeks planning. They enlisted the help of both grandmothers and carefully decided on a menu. They called store after store requesting permission to set up shop. They were repeatedly turned down, but they were not deterred and finally got a "Yes!" On the day of their sale, they set up a table, sold their wares, and informed customers about their cause. They raised over $200 and donated every penny to A's team. 

THAT, friends, is compassion at its finest as demonstrated by three little girls. 



Truly, these girls amaze me. Not only have they done this bake sale, they have had a lemonade stand to raise money to save the whales and they have asked birthday party guests to donate everything from dog food for the local animal shelter to toys for Toys for Tots instead of bringing gifts for them. A lot of their compassion comes from within - an innate gift from a power much higher than me. 

However, I like to think that, as their mom, I do have some part in teaching them how and why to care for others. In a world where there is so much violence and hate, I worry about what the future holds; what the world will be like for these precious girls when they are raising their own families. I hope that I can show my girls a better way. I hope I can teach them to be caring and benevolent. I know I'm trying. Here are some suggestions that might help other parents do the same. 
  1. Give children the opportunity to practice compassion - You have heard these suggestions before, but, like anything, children need to DO compassion to really understand it. Involve them in choosing toys to donate during the holidays or purchasing canned goods to give to a food bank. Have them make cards for someone who is sick or lat them help you cook a meal for your neighbor with the new baby. There are so many ways that even kids can help others.
  2. Manners - I live in "The South" and manners are big deal here, but shouldn't they be everywhere?? An act as simple as holding the door for someone shows you care for them enough to make sure the door does't smack them in the face. While waiting at a restaurant, I have made my girls get up and give their seat to an elderly person. It's a simple act of "good manners" that can mean so much to someone else.
  3. Read to them - There are lots of great books that can help children learn about compassion. Some of my favorites are The Lady In The Box (Ann McGovern), A Sick Day for Amos McGee (Phillip Stead), The Pine Tree Parable (Liz Curtis Higgs), and Have You Filled A Bucket Today? (Carol McCord).
  4. Support Their Cause - When your kids find something they care about, like perhaps having a bake sale to help their cousin, get on board! It may not be convenient or easy, but you have to support the things for which they have a passion.
  5. Model it - As a former teacher and a mom, I love the poem below. It is a HUGE responsibility to raise children who will become virtuous, compassionate adults. We can read a million books, but if we don't model it, they will never learn it. 

If children live in a world of compassion, they will learn to be compassionate people. 

Tweet: Teaching Kids About Compassion - #1000Speak - @TheGoldenSpoons - http://ctt.ec/2X67C+

Today, February 20, 2015, I am proud to be participating in the 1000Voices Speak for Compassion campaign. Over 1,000 bloggers, writers, and video makers from all around the world are coming together to speak about compassion in an effort to to make the world a little nicer. Want to join us? 

34 comments:

Janine Huldie said...

I love that your girls did this for their cousin and seriously Lisa you were right, we most definitely used a similar approach here today. Great minds truly do think alike!! :)

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

Yep! :-)

Kenya G. Johnson said...

I was reading your post as you were reading mine ;-) I love it that your girls team up for these fundraisers and nothing for their own personal gain. Of course you and your husband get some of the credit but I do also believe that spirit of compassion comes from with. You can model it but you can't make a person who they are not.


I imagine you had to play a big part in that baking so good for you for getting on board ;-)

Lisa Moskowitz Sadikman said...

This was so inspiring! I think we sometimes underestimate our kids, but given a chance, they really can make beautiful, meaningful choices. You're doing a great job Lisa :) Another wonderful book about compassion is The Hundred Dresses. Just read it with my middle daughter (10).

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

Thanks Kenya! I like to think we have some part in it, but a lot of it is definitely within them. Especially my youngest - she has the biggest, softest heart of pretty much any child I know.

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

I havne't heard of that one - I'll have to check it out!

MamaRabia said...

This is beautiful, Lisa! I am so encouraged by all the stories about kids today. I hope that even if us adults don't have it all together, that these kids can show us up in the future!

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

The stories are encouraging. It is great to know that so many parents are trying to teach compassion dn so many kids are "getting it." Maybe there is hope for our future after all!

Kristi - Finding Ninee said...

Lisa I love love love this! Your girls are an inspiration and I'm totally going to use the idea to bring dogfood or baby items instead of birthday gifts. Your girls are also extremely adorable by the way. <3

Lisa @ The Meaning of Me said...

I love this, Lisa. That is one of my favorite poems and it is so terribly true. Your list of five points about teaching compassion I couldn't agree more - those things have so many far-reaching benefits.

Chris Carter said...

I love that poem so so much, Lisa... I completely agree with your list!! I wrote a piece much like this for 1Cor13parenting on teaching your kids compassion!! I found SO many verses about this very thing... Christ was the KING of compassion!!

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

Thanks, Kristi! I think they are pretty special!

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

Thank you!

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

Amen!

Robin Reed Grosland said...

I love this: "I hope that I can show my girls a better way." If we, as parents, could all do this imagine how our world will change! Thank you for your beautiful post.
May the world be flooded with compassion today, and may you and I be part of it! I hope you have a lovely weekend.

Tamara Bowman said...

Aw! Yes. You are showing your girls a better way, and they are showing the world a better way. I wrote about my girl too! And I had to look up "compassion" in the dictionary and read it daily. Just to get inspiration to write.

Allison C said...

Oh this is so beautiful, it gave me chills. I love your family of giving and yes, example does mean a lot. A LOT.

Tracy@CrazyAsNormal said...

Yes! That opportunity to practice is so important! It becomes a habit - one of those good ones they pick up. :)

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

Thank you so much!

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

Sometimes, our kids are the best inspiration of all! :-)

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

A Lot. For sure! :-)

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

It's not always easy or convenient, but we have to seize it when it comes along.

Sarah @ LeftBrainBuddha said...

Yes, no matter what we say, it's how we live that they pick up on!

Anna Fitfunner said...

Yes!!! What we teach our children has so much to do with the compassion that will be in the world tomorrow. If we want a more compassionate world, we need to start with our kids. Kudos to you for having such aware and kind kids; it reflects so wonderfully well on your priorities and abilities as a mom!!!

Kelly Mckenzie said...

It was so heartwarming to read about the bake sale. Good on them! $200.00 is a lot of money and they should be ever so proud of themselves. You're doing a great job!

Jennifer | The Deliberate Mom said...

I love this and I adore the tips that you share to teach compassion. Wonderful!


I seriously believe with something like compassion, it's 90% role modelling and 10% other teaching. Children will more likely demonstrate compassion if they see the adults and role models in their lives showing it in a real and tangible way.


Thanks for sharing.
xoxo

Papa said...

great post, but more importantly great girls you have there! lucky to have a good, compassionate mother guiding them in the right direction, not only for themselves, but for the sake of ALL of our childrens' futures.

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

Yes - the good, the bad, and the ugly!

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

Thanks, Anna!

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

Thank you!

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

Absolutely!

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

Thank you!

April Grant said...

Your daughters are awesome! I love that they made a plan and followed through to the end and for a great cause. I'm sure you were a proud momma. Shared.

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

Thanks, April!

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