Wednesday, March 25, 2015

Treading Water

When I googled the word "confused," this is the first definition that popped up"
-unable to think clearly; bewildered
-showing bewilderment
-not in possession of all one's mental faculties

While confused is not the word I would have chosen to describe my state of mind lately, those definitions prove that, perhaps, it is actually the perfect word. Unable to think clearly? Yep. Bewildered? For sure. I would also add overwhelmed, stressed out, and frazzled.

I've been a lot of things in my life -a daughter, a sister, a wife, a mother, a student, a teacher, a friend, an enemy, an athlete, a writer, an overachiever, an I-can-do-it-myself-er. One thing I have never been is a swimmer. 

The water scares me. It makes me feel that I am not in control. If I go under, I feel claustrophobic, disoriented, and panicked. Just the thought of it, the memory of that feeling makes my heart beat a little faster. Yet, I watch other people, including my daughters, glide through the the water effortlessly, unafraid to dive in head first and I envy their ability to find joy in the ripples.


Tweet This: Frantically treading water trying to stay afloat in life. Have you been there? @TheGoldenSpoons #1Word http://ctt.ec/0IB7x+

Despite my awkwardness in the water and my hesitancy to plunge in, I have used the metaphor of swimming several times in the last week telling others that, right now, I feel like I am feverishly treading water, giving it all I've got just trying to stay afloat, but getting nowhere fast. If I slow down, though, I will surely drown. 



My to-do lists have been holding me hostage. I have a list that needs to be done for my job, a list that needs to be done for my blog, and, of course, a list that needs to be done for my family and my home. I am trying to squeeze in (no pun intended) a couple trips to the gym each week in an effort to fight back against my constant self image discontent. Then, there is that extremely inconvenient need for sleep. There are deadlines, and interruptions, and most of the time, my head is spinning with everything that needs my attention. 

When I shared some of this with a group of girlfriends on Monday, I got an encouraging and resounding, "We understand! We've all been there!" They could ALL relate and I was reminded that I, too, have been here before - paddling and splashing while I scan the horizon in search of a life preserver.

It is amazing to me how the water can bring me such fear , but also great calm and perspective. I've written about the waves of parenthood, but I realize that life in general comes in waves as well. Sometimes the seas are rough because we are overpowered by busyness, by grief, by loneliness, by feelings of inferiority, by anger, by worry. or by confusion. So, what do we do? We keep treading water. Like a graceful swan, we may seem calm, but our feet are frantically paddling away just beneath the surface. And, like Dory, we just keep swimming until we have a chance to come up for a good, deep, cleansing breath

When you toss a rock into the water, it disturbs the calm and creates ripples. The bigger the rock, the bigger the ripples. I suppose, right now, all the "to-do's" are the stones that have been tossed into my pond. Eventually, though, the waves dissipate and I have faith that, soon, my waters will be calm once again. Until then, I'll just keep swimming, just keep swimming.

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This post was part of the One Word Blog Linkup hosted by, Janine of Confessions of a Mommyholic, Marica of Blogitudes, and me! This week, the word prompt choices were Confused and WonderfulIf you would like to join the linkup you can find more information HERE, sign up for weekly emails HERE, and/or join our Facebook group HERE. Every Friday, two prompts are emailed. Choose one and write a post using that word as inspiration. Linkup up any time between 6:00am EST on Wednesday-9:00pm EST on Thursdays on any of the host sites.

   
    An InLinkz Link-up
   

21 comments:

Janine Huldie said...

Aw, I love this and you are right, we just have to keep on swimming, because as rough as the waters get they will calm down eventually once again, too. Hugs and hope things do indeed calm down for you soon now.

MamaRabia said...

Dory and I are soul sisters. I sing that "just keep swimming" to myself all the time! This week has been crazy for me as well, and I'm holding on until things settle down again. I am sending waves of peace your way, dear friend!

Marcia Shaw Wyatt said...

What a wonderful way to describe what I've been feeling lately too, Lisa. My to-do lists keep getting longer, and my days seem to keep getting shorter. If only we didn't need to sleep! Your last paragraph gives me a great feeling of hope though - the waves at some point will once again dissipate and our waters will calm. They always do. In the meantime, I'll just keep swimming, too. :)

Tamara Bowman said...

I love your imagination!! I saw this yesterday and I was inspired to write my own and link up.
I do love calorie-free day but it would be funny in my household because some of us would love it, and others of us need those calories! I'm still signing up because I love ice cream like no one should.
Blogger Appreciation is a BIG one. .Should we create one on our own? What did people do before blogs and I really mean that? You can learn so much about food and home and garden and oils and photography and.. everything.

Jeannine (@EubanksEutopia) said...

Lisa, I have so been there. I still have days and weeks when I feel like I'm treading water. Hang on, you'll make it.

Tamara Bowman said...

That's definitely how I felt for a whole month. And Dory is my spirit animal. I'm happy to say it's mostly over. I feel much better these days!

Julie DeNeen said...

I'm with you. I've felt this way for months in terms of my to-do lists. Even though I'm quite happy, I can never find the time to just stop and let my mind settle. Even in my sleep I'm thinking!

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

Thanks Janine! I know things will calm down soon enough - if I can just keep my head above water on enough! :-)

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

Thanks, Rabia!! I'm sending those peaceful waves right back at you!

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

We'll all keep swimming together, Marcia! And, darn that need for sleep! I could get so much done if I could actually function on about 3 hours of sleep a night. Sadly, that would not be a pretty sight! :-)

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

Thanks, Jeannine!

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

I am so looking froward to that sense of relief, Tamara!

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

Exactly! I wake up wit a to-do list running through my brain.

Dakota said...

I had to chuckle at your "inconvenient need for sleep" line... I feel like that all. the. time! Please do make sure you get some though... otherwise you end up dizzy and, well, sick. Which doesn't help anything! Wishing you a calmer weekend and next week!

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

Thanks Dakota!! I promise to get some sleep tonight! :-)

Corinne Rodrigues said...

Love the water metaphor, Lisa! I'm just getting around my to-do list and already biting off more than I can chew for next month! Stop me, someone! ;)
In the midst of my self-imposed madness, I'm learning to let go...and take care of myself too!

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

Good for you, Corinne! Taking care of ourselves is so important!

Janine Huldie said...

Like I told Rabia my freezer is pretty organized thanks to Kevin, but still not sure everything that is in there now. By the way, I totally have a cold now and am a bit stuffy here myself sadly now. Hope you are feeling better though.

Charlene said...

Hope you feel better soon Lisa!
I have chips (french fries), meat, mixed vegies, pastry, ice cream, ice, icepacks - it's a small freezer - we also have a deep freeze in the garage - not sure whats in there though lol its been a while since we used it - should really have a clean out!

Tamara Bowman said...

You have emergency coffee. Rabia has emergency bread! Both important.
I love french fries in all forms.
We have a lot of chicken nuggets in ours. And a ton of ice cream because it doesn't go as fast during the winter, but we somehow keep buying it!

Dana said...

I have a bottom freezer too, but yours is much neater! I can never find anything. My freezer always has a few loaves of bread in it, and eight gazillion of those ice pack thingys.

Hope you are having a great time in London!

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